Five top online dating tips

I am going to give you my First Five Online Dating Tips. This might seem pretty basic, but I bet a lot of you are not making the most of belonging to DatingAgency.com and judging from some of my queries, many of you are not sure why you aren’t getting the results that you expected.

So, in order to make sure all of you get the maximum benefit and those all important results, this is what I recommend this month. Next time, I will share the other five online dating tips, which will go into a little more details about how to progress from here.

1. Write a killer profile

This is sometimes easier said than done and many of you can be a little modest about your assets, preferring to downplay your attributes. My advice is to be yourself and to be honest, but don’t put yourself down. Be positive and think of your strengths rather than your weaknesses. If you’ve got a great sense of humour or a passion for travelling, say so.

Online dating is not dissimilar to a job interview – you need to sell yourself! If in doubt, get a close friend – or someone like me – to help you put your profile together in the most appealing and positive way. And if you have children, don’t describe them as ‘baggage’ – they are probably a big and important part of your life. Rewrite your profile now.

Follow Jo's common-sense advice for dating success

2. Choose a good photo or two

In these days when a cheap but effective digital camera is within most people’s means, there is really no excuse for the rigid passport booth type shot. Get a friend to take a well-lit, clear head and shoulders shot as your main pic. And don’t forget to smile – this is about having fun, not looking miserable or too posed. You can keep trying until you’re happy with the final picture.

Also add a couple more photos – a full length one perhaps, or one of you on holiday or playing sport to reflect your personality and add variety. Try to avoid photos of yourself in a really messy room, more than two years old, with different coloured hair (or just hair if you no longer have any!) with an ex-partner (however carefully you try and crop them out), with sunglasses on top of a mountain or on your wedding day! Yes, I’ve seen all of these more than once!

3. Be focused but not over specific about what you are looking for

You need to know what kind of partner – and indeed what kind of relationship – you are looking for before you can describe the kind of person you would like to meet. Don’t be afraid of being ‘lookist’ – if blue-eyed blondes do it for you, then say so.

However, you need to balance this without being too specific. If you are looking for a grey-eyed girl, between 26 and 28, 5ft 3 to 5ft 5, with curly shoulder length strawberry blonde hair, you are very likely to end up disappointed. And if looks are less important to you than personality, then say so. It’s important to have shared values, lifestyle and interests, so don’t be afraid to mention these.

Additionally, if travel is a concern for any reason, don’t be concerned to say that you want to meet someone within a certain distance from where you live.

4. Keep an eye on the competition

Do a few searches as a member of the opposite sex and check out those members of your sort of age of your own sex. Look at their profiles and photos. It’s good to know what you’re up against and it can be invaluable in helping to draw up or revise your own details if needs be.

5. Be proactive

Don’t wait for other members to approach you; decide who sounds appealing and send them a friendly message. Don’t be embarrassed – especially women who are often less inclined to make the first approach – you wouldn’t be on here if you weren’t looking for a compatible partner. It’s a level playing field… You should check your profile regularly and respond to all those that sound possible – don’t limit yourself to getting into one virtual relationship at the beginning. Some people get swamped by messages (lucky them!) so don’t feel obliged to answer every one.

Some (guys especially) tend to write a cut and paste message to all newcomers and once you respond you may get yourself into more conversation than you’d like. Do try and respond to genuine people who have found your profile attractive, even if you are not interested in them.

Next time I’ll go into more detail on online dating etiquette the kind of messages you should – and shouldn’t – be sending; tips on the right time to meet; honesty and integrity; common sense and safety and advice on your first date.