 Life Coach
Adam Clark
Life coaching
The Stop Sign – knowing when it’s time to rest
On the first Saturday of this February I spent the afternoon watching a James
Bond movie. Tony and I had gone away for a weekend break. We arrived at our
hotel just after lunch, with two hours of winter sunshine left before it got
dark. It was a glorious day and we were in a beautiful part of England. My
strong instinct was that I should be out in the fresh air making the most of the
sunshine. I went into the hotel room intending to drop my bags, put on my
walking boots and go out.
But instead we turned on the TV. Flicking through the channels, we discovered
that A View To A Kill had just started. The film was corny and touchingly
dated, but it was good entertainment. And watching it was exactly what I needed
to do. All ideas of going for a walk were forgotten as we watched James Bond
spar with Max Zorin and May Day.
Know when it's
time to stop
At Christmas I had been given a new computer. At the same time I also started a
new contract to write for a US website. The switching of computers and the
contacts I received as a result of my writing for the website generated a huge
amount of work. I’m grateful for this, but was struggling to stay on top of my
workload. For the first time in my working life as a coach I was feeling out of
control. I wasn’t finding, or making, the time to deal with emails from people
who had trusted me with quite personal details of their life. I was getting
behind with writing up my logs of coaching sessions. I wasn’t following up on
marketing leads.
It’s a paradox that in order to cope with a workload that was becoming
unmanageable, the last thing I felt I could do was stop, but that was exactly
what I needed to do. For the first time in weeks, in front of that James Bond
film, I switched off my brain. What a relief that turned out to be!
The experience got me thinking about how we all need to remind ourselves to stop
from time to time. Much of my coaching is about helping people to reach their
goals. It’s about activity and action. It’s about moving forward. But with a
significant number of clients, my work is to help them to give up, to do less,
to let go.
I made a change in how I saw my work. Up to this point, I’d told myself that I
wasn’t on top of my workload. But that weekend I decided to change the message
I was giving myself. I started telling myself that I was on top of my workload.
I have begun every day since by asserting that I do have time to do all I need
to do. And, do you know what, it all suddenly seemed much easier. There were
no more hours in the day, but I found myself getting on with things with so much
more ease than I had before my weekend away. I made time to write to all those
who had contacted me. I got up to date with my coaching logs. I followed up on
those leads.
Once again I had learnt that it’s how we think about a situation that matters
much more than the situation itself. There were no fewer emails in my inbox,
but with my lighter spirit and positive attitude, I knew that I could and would
cope.
Thank goodness for weekends away, for occasionally just lying on a bed watching
some trashy TV, for rest. If life has been busy for you, and you want to get on
top of things, try my tips below. See the light, about when it’s time to stop.
Top tips for getting on top of things
1. Stop!
If you find that things are running away from you, that you are feeling
stressed, it’s important to stop. Get away from the source of stress if you
can. I find it helpful to put all my books and papers away and turn my computer
off. If you associate stress with a particular part of your house, or with your
office, move away from that place. If you can, go outside. If it’s clear, look
for the moon. I always find that seeing the moon or the stars helps me to get
my problems in perspective. Those items on my to do list seem much less
oppressive when you remind yourself of your place in the universe.
2. Give yourself positive messages
It’s amazing how much difference telling myself “I’m on top of things” rather
than “I’m not on top of things” made to me recently. So simple, but it totally
changed my perception of what I had to do. Try saying to yourself “I have time
to do all I need to do today”. You’ll be amazed at how much easier things seem.
3. Use your senses
When we are stressed we tend to forget that we are sensory creatures. Our
vision narrows. We see only what’s right in front of us. Reminding ourselves
to use our senses helps to widen that field of view. If you go outside, listen
to the sound of the birds, feel the wind, rain or sunshine on your face, smell
the air. Take time to notice what you are eating and drinking. How does that
coffee actually taste? How does your food feel as you eat it? By switching on
your senses you connect with the present. This stops you from being stressed.
4. Find things that allow you to switch off
For me on that weekend away I needed to switch off in front of the TV. But
normally I wind down by cooking. I love the feel of the ingredients in my
hands, of working with them and creating something my friends and I will enjoy.
What do you do that you find totally absorbing? It may be reading, or dancing,
or fixing your car. Whatever it is, do more of it!
5.Enjoy yourself
Pleasure and fun are the best antidotes to stress I know. What makes you
laugh? When did you last do it? Resolve to do more. Your list of tasks will
seem so much more manageable if you’ve switched off and had fun.
We all need to make time to stop, to wind down, to put the things that absorb
our energy into perspective. Resolve today to do just this. Find your own
equivalent of the James Bond film. And see how much easier it is to get on with
things once you’ve slowed down. And taken time, to stop!
Adam Clark
Adam is one of London's top life coaches, and writes for many world-class
publications as well as DatingAgency.com. You can gain access to Adam's personal
life coaching service at
www.lifecoachuk.biz.
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