Dating coach Sharon Vickery explains the three biggest mistakes people make when dating online, and how you can avoid them.
Your ideal partner is out there, right now waiting for you, but the best way to find them is to identify what’s not been working for you so far and then to make adjustments until you get the results you want.
Online dating is a great way to meet other like-minded single people, there’s no doubt about it, but too often we start to upload a profile and send those winks and emails when we’re feeling lonely on a Sunday afternoon, in the hope that our love life might miraculously change by 8pm!
So, if you’re finding the dating process a struggle or if you’ve been feeling frustrated, confused or lonely, don’t worry. The good news is that I’m here to help, and the answers to where you’ve been going wrong are just around the corner. Here’s how you can avoid the 3 biggest mistakes people make with online dating.
No.1: Not Committing The Time And Effort To Dating Online
How great would it be if we could go to the gym once every 6 months for 2 hours and have the body of our dreams! That would be on my wish list for sure but realistically I know I have to go 3 or 4 times a week to stay in shape.
There’s no quick fix for finding love online in the same way that there’s no quick fix for having a healthy body. You have to be proactive and put the work in to see the results – and if you do, the results will be priceless.
No. 2: Putting The Wrong Or No Photo’s On Your Profile
I’m going to cut straight to the chase here and ask you to be realistic. Your photos do matter!!
This can be the second scariest part after writing your profile but like it or not, looks do matter, so here are some guidelines when adding your photos.
• Always post at least 3 photos:
The simple truth is that if you decide not to put your photo up you’ll dramatically reduce your chances of success. You’ll be about 10 times more likely to get a response by having a photo up there than nothing at all. The maths aren’t that hard here; do you want to lose 90% of your online chances?
• Use a head and shoulder shot as the main photo:
Your main photo should ideally be a great one showing just your head (no hats or sunglasses) and with you smiling. This is going to be your main selling point so it’s worth investing in getting it right.
• Use recent pictures:
All the photos should be no more than 12 months old, but ideally within the last 6 months.
• Avoid group photos:
Don’t add any photos where you’ve got your arm around someone of the opposite sex, where you’ve cut someone out of the picture or where it’s not obvious who you are in the crowd.
No.3: Don’t Take Rejection Personally
I’m going to start by giving you a figure to really get the realism flowing. Statistically you’re going to be rejected by 8 out of 10 people online. Yes, this means that most of the people you write to won’t write back. It’s nothing personal and it’s important that you don’t see it as a rejection of you.
Maybe they are communicating with quite a few people and just don’t have the time to include any more? Maybe they just met someone and want to see how it goes? Maybe they’ve got personal or work commitments that are taking up their time or perhaps you just don’t appeal to them?
There could be so many reasons, but the bottom line is that you will never know what they are so there is very little point in spending valuable time trying to figure it out. Remember never take rejection personally when you’re dating online. Instead, spend your energy searching through new members and sending messages to everyone who catches your eye.
By Sharon Vickery, Online Dating Coach and Author of The Secrets To Finding & Keeping An Amazing Man
If you want to learn the insider tips and strategies to really make online dating work for you, Sharon has a special offer on her Mastering Online Dating 3 Week Program, which is open to both men and women, and valid for a limited time only. On the 3 week program you will learn how to:
• Create a profile that will get you noticed
• Know what qualities really are important in your ideal partner
• Save time and money by knowing which website(s) to choose
• Avoid the 7 biggest mistakes people make with online dating
• Spot your ideal partner in a sea of profiles
• Write emails that get a response
• Go from email to that first date, plus much, much more!
You can find out more about the 3 week Master Class here: http://www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk/lookingforlove.php.
You can also get a free 7 part guide: How To Solve The Mystery Of What’s Keeping You Single, at Sharon’s website – www.havefunfindingtheone.co.uk