Tag Archives: Dating Advice

Find online dating advice here

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dating adviceWithin our website, DatingAgency.com, you will find helpful tips and dating advice. Each online dating advice article is written by the experts at DatingAgency.com who are on hand to answer all the questions you may have.

 

There are many ways to find the answers you are looking for on our dating advice website:

Dr Date is on-hand to answer your online dating questions and frequently dishes out dating advice for men and women who have questions about DatingAgency.com. He uses his years of experience in the online dating field to answer your questions honestly and frankly.

Coffee Shop Confessions is an online dating diary that follows the dating ‘travels’ of a real DatingAgency.com member. She discovers the world of online dating and gets out there to meet men again after being single for a few years. The diary is a humourous account of her encounters with men, on and off the website and aims to provide lighthearted dating advice for women and men.

If you are looking for Christian dating advice, you have certainly come to the right place. There are many helpful dating advice articles on DatingAgency.com that aim to provide an insight in to the world of internet dating. The articles also help you write a great dating profile, choose your most attractive profile photo and communicate effectively and successfully to other single Members of DatingAgency.com. Our online dating website has thousands of Christian singles wanting to create meaningful relationships with other Christians.

Another way to get help is to search our dating blog, which provides you with unlimited articles about dating, first dates, online flirting techniques, new site features and safety tips to name a few.

There are many free internet dating sites who claim to help match you up with other single people, but only DatingAgency.com knows that you want something different from the usual claims. By registering for free, you can find someone who has the same interests, personality traits and goals.

Our members come from a variety of backgrounds looking for different types of relationships. Where other sites are more specific, based on the type of members, interests, location, or relationship desired, DatingAgency.com is about bringing people together, whatever their age, interests and goals in life.

Join DatingAgency.com and meet your matches for free today.

Age Is An Advantage When You’re Dating

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If you're looking for companionship, romance and relationships, login to DatingAgency.com

If you're looking for companionship, romance and relationships, login to DatingAgency.com

Age isn’t a barrier to dating – it’s an advantage!  Dating in your 40s, 50s and beyond is just as exciting as it was in your 20s or 30s, and it’s far more satisfying too.

You’re never too old to date or look for romance, companionship and someone to share both the exciting and mundane moments of life – and that’s why so many of us over 40s are flocking to online dating.   Read on to discover why age is an advantage when you’re dating.

You Know Yourself

It is a cliché, but by the time we’re in our 40s, we’re older, wiser and know ourselves much better than we did when we were in our 20s and 30s. We know what we want, what will complement our life and what our boundaries are far more than we did when we were younger – and because of this, we’re more successful daters. Continue reading →

Upsetting people by saying no

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Dear Dr. Date

I have recently embarked on DatingAgency.com’s new Encounters feature. I love the idea of it but I haven’t used it because I am scared I will upset people by saying no to them. Does a message tell them that I said no?

Sally (name changed for privacy)
DatingAgency.com Member

Hi Sally,

This one’s a simple question to answer! You can rest easy in the knowledge that you do not send a message or alert to someone should you say no to them in our Encounters application. They will only receive an alert if you say yes or maybe.

So now you can get viewing all those handsome men’s pictures on DatingAgency.com in one fell swoop!

We hope you find a match!

Dating tips for widowers

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Thinking about starting dating again after the death of a spouse or partner can bring out feelings of betrayal or guilt. It can also trigger feelings of concern and confusion in family and friends.

For those who have lost a partner and are looking to date again, here are some tips to help you:

How soon should I start dating again?

Everyone is different, and there is no specific time period that you should wait before dating again. Some people take weeks, others take years. Whatever you choose to do, and however long you take, don’t let others tell you you’re moving too fast or waiting too long.

Why do I feel guilty about wanting to date again?

Feelings of guilt will subside over time as you date, especially when you find that special someone. If the guilt’s not subsiding, you might not be ready to date again. If this is the case, give dating a break for a while and try it again when you feel you are more up to it.

Is it okay to talk about my deceased Partner?

Unless you’re dating someone you knew previously, and they are already familiar with your past, they are going to naturally be curious about your previous relationship. Answer questions he or she may have, but don’t spend all your time talking about it, be interested in what your date has to say and move on to getting to know them.

What if I am out of practice of dating?

Most dates will understand if they know it has been awhile since you dated. If you forget to open the door for your date, or talk about your past a bit too much, don’t worry now. But don’t make the same mistakes over and over. Learn from them and continue moving forward. You’ll be surprised how fast you get in to it.

What if I want to take things slow?

Don’t feel bad if you find yourself missing the intimacy of having a relationship. It’s completely normal. If you’re on a date and it’s going well, don’t be afraid to take things slow. It can save you and your date a lot of emotional heartache if you wait to make sure what you’re doing is because you care for the other person, and not because you miss the intimacy that you had in the past.

We had a great date, so why didn’t he call?

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Dear Dr. Date,

I met a lovely guy on DatingAgency.com and after chatting casually every night for a over a week, we decided to arrange somewhere to meet in person. We eventually met up and we had a great time. The date was very casual and I felt very relaxed in his company. There were no awkward silences, no differs of opinions and we generally got on great.

The thing is, he didn’t call back after the date and it’s been over two weeks now. I must admit, I could have called him, but as the days went by it got more and more obvious that he wasn’t going to call and I didn’t want to get rejected. I don’t know what’s better, not hearing back, or hearing back with a ‘thanks but no thanks’.

How can I move on from this with my self-esteem intact?

From Teresa (Name changed for privacy)
DatingAgency.com Member
Dear Teresa,

Thank you for sending in your dating dilemma, and sorry to hear you are feeling rejected by your date. I could ply you with cliches like “It’s not you, it’s him” and “There are plenty more fish in the sea” but I’m pretty sure that won’t help you much!

There are two key questions I know you will be wanting to know the answer to;

Why didn’t he call?
What’s wrong with me?

You have probably analyzed the date over and over again, trying to remember moments you could have blown it, or said the wrong things.

The reality is, I can’t tell you what the actual answers are. But I can leave you with this. In the end they didn’t call because they weren’t the right date for you.

As you get older, you get bolder. To avoid wasting precious time and heartache, don’t leave the ball in their court. You have to believe it’s their loss if they don’t call. You’re doing all the right things and you should continue to be a happy and complete person. Someone totally perfect for you will come along, take note of the great person you are and hang onto a great thing when they’ve got it.

If you are happy and confident, you will attract lots more dates. So, move on from this, the best is yet to come.

Online dating dos and don’ts

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Whether you are a seasoned online dating professional or a nervous newcomer, these must read tips on how to easily freshen up your profile will make sure you’ll start to see even more messages come flooding in.

Do update your profile regularly

People will often check your profile a few times before they get in touch so if you’re constantly updating your profile with interesting things about your life, they’ll not only realise that you use the site regularly, they’ll also know what a fascinating person you are too!

Do make sure you have a photo

Statistically speaking you’re ten times more likely to be contacted by another Member if you have a photo, but in reality a good photo can be the difference between having a date every night of the week and having an inbox full of rejections!

Don’t talk about previous relationships

When you talk about past troubles, you come across as a negative person. When you have just started getting to know someone you don’t want to sound negative or resentful. At the same time there is also no need to talk about how great your ex partner was as this could make the person you are interested in feel inadequate and insecure. Save these discussions for a more advanced stage of a relationship.

Do try not to take each contact too seriously

Unfortunately you’re going to get rejected from time to time, but try to remember that it just means they weren’t the right person for you. Also, just because you are talking to one person does not mean you can’t talk to others. Part of online dating is to meet new people and get chatting and find people you get on with and connect with. Try not to rush into making things serious, let a relationship develop naturally. It is also good to bear in mind that if you find people who are not romantically right for you this does not mean you cannot be friends.

Do take a break

Even if you bought several months worth of membership, don’t plan to become a dating demon by being online without a break in the action. Having too many choices or too many unsuccessful contacts can make your brain glaze over, and you may lose your will to date. If you chose to take the long subscription, the lower price will allow you to take several breaks over a few months.

Don’t think it’s just about a photo

Online dating allows you to chat to people and really get to know someone before you start dating them, so take advantage of this. You may find someone perfect for you physically but once you get to know them they have unattractive personality traits or you just don’t click with them. If you are seriously looking for a lasting relationship it is important that the person you find is truly a good match rather than just an attractive photo.

Do reconsider your must have criteria

Online dating is unique because it allows you to select what you are looking for when you start. You may have a list of ‘must haves’ when considering what you are looking for, however you should take time to consider which of these factors are really important. If you are finding that no one lives up to your high standards maybe you should reconsider your must have criteria.

Do fill in all your details

If you leave out any details from your characteristics ‘tick boxes’ then other Members might wonder what you’re trying to hide. They’ll find out eventually so be honest from the word go – the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!!!

Don’t make it too long – or too short!

Obviously the more information you can give other Members the better, but if someone looking at your details is faced with line after line of your life history they might get bored and move on to someone else. And you need to leave something to tell them when they contact you.

Do stand out from the crowd & avoid cliches

Try to mark yourself out from the crowd by mentioning some of your more quirky traits and characteristics. Not everyone is going to want to go white-water rafting with you but it makes an interesting point of conversation when you start chatting.
DVDs, bottles of wine, cuddles on sofas – we all know how nice it is and we’ve all read it a thousand times on other people’s profiles so if you must mention this, please say something else too!

We hope all this will help you to make a better impression on other Members, and will speed up the process of you finding your perfect partner. Even if your profile is up to scratch, why not have another look at it and see if there’s anything from this little lot that you could add in to make you really stand out from the crowd.

Good luck!

Take your date to London this Christmas

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We have selected some of the best Christmas events and activities in London for you to take a date to over the Christmas period. Whether you want to skate around an ice rink to music, sample delicious Christmas food or go on a romantic walk around the city, there is something for you and your date. Dates to suit all pockets!

What: Hyde Park Winter Wonderland
When: 18th November 2011 – 3rd January 2012
Where: Hyde Park, London, W2
How much: Free to walk around, prices vary for rides and attractions

The UK’s most spectacular winter event returns to Hyde Park for the 5th year running with FREE admission and even more entertainment and new attractions. With 500,000 Bratwursts on order and 330,000 cups of mulled wine ready to be served, Hyde Park Winter Wonderland is set to be a fantastic day out for everyone, so be sure to book your tickets early and make Winter Wonderland part of your Christmas tradition.

Visit the Hyde Park Winter Wonderland website

What: The Covent Garden Real Food Market
When: Every Thursday to Saturday throughout December 2011
Where: East Piazza, Covent Garden, London, WC2E 8RF
How much: Free to walk around

Piping hot chocolate… moreish mince pies… rich roasted chestnuts. Do we have your attention? Covent Garden’s Real Food Market is turning all festive – naturally – and stalls packed with Christmas treats will be luring in foodies from far and wide. From 24th November to Christmas Eve the Real Food Market is held from Thursday to Saturday on the East Piazza. Expect irresistible smells wafting through the air and a relaxed atmosphere as you sample some of the goods on offer.

Visit the Covent Garden website

What: The Underground Film Club
When: Every until December 18th 2011
Where: The Dorfman Hub, The Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, London, NW1 8EH
How much: From £9.90 per ticket

Underground Film Club is the exciting new film experience from the creators of this summers No.1 outdoor screening blockbuster the Rooftop Film Club.
From the skies to the underground we fly with screenings of classic, cult and recent film releases in the totally unique setting of ‘The Dorfman Hub’ at the legendary Roundhouse. Book now to get your tickets!

Visit The Underground Film Club website

What: Skate at Somerset House
When: From now until January 22nd 2012
Where: Somerset House, The Strand, London, WC2R 1LA
How much: From £7.50 per person

The grand courtyard at Somerset House provides this 900-metre-square ice rink with one of the most impressive skating backdrops in town. The skate school offers lessons for beginners and there are special sessions for children and disabled people, as well as late-night skates and club nights (Thur-Sat) with DJs. Tom’s Skate Lounge, a rinkside bar and lounge open to both ticket and non ticket holders, serves drinks and snacks throughout the day.

Visit the Somerset House website

What: La Soirée
When: Wednesday 23 November 2011 – Sunday 29 January 2012
Where: The Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, London, NW1 8EH
How much: From £15 per person

A theatrical phenomenon, a unique and inspirational night of live entertainment, La Soirée’s heady cocktail of cabaret, new burlesque, circus sideshow and contemporary variety has taken the world by storm. Showcasing the crème de la crème of twisted cabaret entertainers from around the world, including stars of the Olivier-Award winning La Clique, La Soirée is an international sensation.

Visit the La Soirée website

What: The Royal Observatory
When: Saturday 26 November, Saturday 3 December and Saturday 10 December
Where: Royal Observatory, Blackheath Avenue, Greenwich, SE10 8XJ
How much: From £6.50

Think of a planetarium as a tour bus of the Universe taking you on amazing journeys to explore and experience the wonders of the night sky. Combining real images from spacecraft and telescopes with advanced CGI, all projected onto a fully immersive dome, the planetarium can fly you into the heart of the Sun, transport you to distant galaxies, show you the birth of a star or land you on Mars.

Visit The Royal Observatory website

What: London at Christmas Walk
When: Mon, Wed & Sat 7pm throughout December
Where: Starts at the Trafalgar Square Christmas Tree, ends near Bond Street Tube Station
How much: £15 per person

See London’s architecture come alight!

A magical night-time tour of central London’s Christmas illuminations and displays. London as you’ve never seen it before!

Visit The London at Christmas Walk website

Let it go or make a move?

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make a move or let goDear Dr. Date,

I have met a man on DatingAgency.com. For the last month we have been casually sending instant and text messages for a few weeks and though it’s all very pleasant, I want more. He says he’s busy, he has a very demanding job and two teenaged children that he has sole care of. I think he likes me, and I know I like him, though we are yet to meet in the flesh.

I would like to meet with him, but I am afraid If I do the asking he will think I am pushing things and coming on too strong. I am not very good at taking rejection, and I wonder, should I wait for him to make the first move or should I just take the bull by the horns and get on with it?

Hannah, 52 (Name changed)
DatingAgency.com Member

Hi Hannah, thank you for sending your query in. I get a lot of questions like this, so you are not alone! Some people approach online dating quite differently from others, and depending on what you are looking for in the long run, could differ from the next person.

Some people join online dating websites to fall in love, some people just want someone to chat with or to make friends, and some people are open to anything. While it sounds like you are open to starting a serious relationship, the man you have met, may not be ready for that.

He obviously likes you otherwise he wouldn’t have spent time messaging you for the past two months. You didn’t say how often you talk to him, but I am assuming it is a substantial amount for you to have realised you’d like to take things further with him.

In the first instance, you need to address your own confidence issues. You fear rejection, for whatever reason I do not know, but with online dating there can be an element of hiding behind your computer or mobile phone and not showing your true feelings. Online dating is wonderful for meeting new friends and potential partners, but you won’t get far if you are not confident in yourself and able to take a few little risks.

Assuming you have read the signals correctly, have you ever considered that this man may be feeling exactly the same as you? He might also be worried of scaring you off if he asks you out on a date.
Generally, people will not be offended if you suggest a first date before they are ready. In our experience, the other person would offer an excuse but continue communicating. If this happens, wait a few days (continuing the instant messaging or texts) and then ask again.

Unless a good reason is given for not meeting, don’t ask more than two or three times. A grown man (or woman if the man is asking) can decide in a few weeks if he would like to meet you. Your time is valuable and should be used to communicate with people truly interested in meeting you.

I hope this helped you to come to a decision about what to do. Let us know how it goes, and good luck!

Dear Diary – what not to wear?

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At the end of last month’s diary excerpt, I told you all I HAVE MYSELF A DATE!

Shall I tell you how it went?

Well, first things first, I’ll tell you how I found myself this date! I was re-writing my profile (which I have done four times so far – you’ve got to keep it fresh!) and I saw that DatingAgency.com had suggested a member in the ‘featured member’ box. Well, in full flow of writing to the men of the world about my personality traits and most loved activities in life, I clicked on his very handsome face and had a read of his profile. It sounded very very promising, plus he lived in the next town from me, so that is very convenient indeed!

I stalked him online for a little while (in a casual and aloof manner you have to understand) and decided after a couple of days of reading and re-reading his profile, sent him a ‘wink’. To my delight, he reciprocated and sent me a rather nice message.

“Hi, I am very flattered to receive your wink, would you like to have a quick chat when you are online next? I like what you said in your profile and looks like we have a lot in common. Speak to you soon? T”

He didn’t call himself T, one of my pet-hates is to abbreviate ones name, I have protected his name for the purpose of this diary post! I don’t one anyone nabbing my man!

Anyway, how could I resist his offer of a chat, seems like a nice man!! Plus what have I to lose?

We spent a couple of days missing each other as we both have pretty busy schedules, but we managed to exchange a few casual emails about the basic things, like how we came to be dating online (without going in to the gory details of the past, thankfully) and what we like to do at the weekends, all that boring smalltalk!

I decided after a couple of days of emailing that it’s kind of pointless to keep on asking questions over the internet, so I just asked him outright …

“Would you like to meet up sometime soon? There’s a nice pub near us that do a good merlot!”

I’m not getting any younger, and I was getting a good feeling from our conversation so I decided to cut to the chase and ask him out! Considering I have not been on a date for about two hundred years, I was suprisingly calm doing the asking.

This feeling of calm did not however follow through to the day of the date! I became a nervous wreck!

What not to wear!I was petrified about wearing something too young, or too old, or too short, or too tight! I decided to pay a little visit to my daughters house to see what she thought of my outfit choices. She was grinning as I was trying everything on and explaining my reasonings for each item. She kept looking at me in a way that said “Oh Mum, you’re going on a date….with a man!!!!” She was very enthusiastic, and gave me lots of advice, and I even ended up borrowing a couple of items from her. Not a pair of hotpants or high heels if that’s what you are thinking!

I ended up wearing a pair of nicely cut jeans and my daughters blouse with a fitted jacket and nice necklace. Despite my daughter trying to get me in her sexy shoes, I went for my tried and trusted flat shoes as I didn’t want to trip through the door in to the lap of my date! I felt confident that no wardrobe malfunctions were going to happen with this outfit which gave me a boost of self confidence and in turn started to look forward to the date!

Now to report how the date itself went…

It contained awkward silences, differs of opinions, heated debates, uncomfortable moments when splitting the bill, and generally turned out to be a bit of a disaster!! How about the bit when the button of my daughters blouse undid itself and I sat there for at least 30 minutes showing my brassiere? Teaches me to not road test the outfit before the date!

Despite this turbulent first meeting, T has asked me out again, and I have accepted! Even though the date didn’t go very well, there was a very strong and undeniable spark between us! Our differing opinions on worldly matters and heated debates were very stimulating. I have actually never met a man that had an intelligent opinion about anything and that is able to keep up with my dry and sometimes cynical humour.

I figured the tumbleweed moments were just normal and the awkward splitting the bill thing – I will overlook!

I am very excited to see T again, and this time, I will wear something I am confident won’t fall apart and show off my underwear, and make sure I have done my homework on public affairs so the awkward silences don’t happen!

I’ll let you know how it’s going next month!

Icebreaker not deal breaker

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What is an Icebreaker anyway?

From your feedback we understand that searching through thousands of profiles on DatingAgency.com can sometimes be a little daunting, as well as very time consuming! An Icebreaker is a message that any DatingAgency.com Member can send (for FREE) to hundreds of people in their area all in one go, introducing themselves and getting lots of attention from all the right people in the process.

Send a great online dating icebreaker messageIcebreakers have divided opinions in the past. Some people see them as impersonal and ill-thought out and some Members feel they get too many of them in their inbox. In reality, if thought about and executed well, an Icebreaker message can easily attract a lot of attention from potential partners.

To send an Icebreaker message to people you are interested in hearing from, go to the member search and select the age range, the location and even the length of hair that attracts you if you like! Hit search and a list of suitable members will appear. On the top right of the search results, you will be able to see a box which lets you compose your icebreaker message.

You must have a fully completed profile, including a photo in order to send an Ice Breaker. This is so that you get the best results; we know that the Members on DatingAgency.com are 10 times more likely to respond if they can see your photo!

Where to start?

To help you get through to more people via an Icebreaker message, follow these simple tips:

1. Compose your message in a word processing program and use a spell check just in case you have made an error or two. Even the best writers can make mistakes.
2. Keep it short and sweet. An intriguing message is key!
3. Be confident about yourself, never mention anything negative, like past bad relationship experiences on or off the site.
4. Don’t be derogatory or rude or express strong opinions. Leave those until you know the person better!
5. Really sell yourself but in a non arrogant way. Spend some time thinking about your best personality traits and what you love doing in your spare time.

Here are a few icebreaker examples to get the ball rolling:

“I like to walk my dog at the weekends and visit my family at the coast. If you are interested in joining me one weekend, why not send me a message?”

“Hi, I’m new to the site. I’m looking for a friend to join me for dinner once or twice a week.  I’m a tall, well-travelled man looking to meet an interesting lady with a great sense of humour. Send me a message if you like the look of me.”

“I am a fun-loving and active man looking for someone who shares my love of nature and the outdoors. I like the look of your profile and would love to chat if the feeling’s mutual.”

“I am a young at heart, and generous lady, looking to share long walks in the country and cosy pub lunches with an active and fun-loving man. Please take a look at my profile and send me a message if you’d like to chat.”

“Hello! I am new to the site. I am a petite and curvy lady who loves to go to see French movies and eat fine food. If you would like to join me sometime, let me know!”

“I live near the beach and enjoy watching the sun set as I walk my dog by the sea. It can be a bit lonely just me and the dog, so maybe you’d like to join us some time?”

Don’t wait for someone to make the first move – put yourself out there, have fun getting to know lots of new people and increase your chances of finding someone special.

Now get writing, hundreds of members near you are waiting for your message!

My daughter doesn’t like my new man

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What to do when a child does not like your new partnerDear Dr. Date

I am a divorcee of ten years now, and after embarking on the online dating scene, have found a really great man on DatingAgency.com. I really feel like our relationship might be going somewhere. We really click, and have real respect for each other. He is unlike any man I have ever met, which might sound a bit over the top, but he is so attentive, caring and has integrity, which can’t be said for many men in my life in the past.

Anyway, the time came for him to meet my daughter, who is 22 now. We all met at her favourite restaurant which I thought would settle her just in case she was feeling nervous about meeting my new partner. To my shock, she acted like a completely different person. My charming and caring daughter turned into a cutting and smart-lipped madam, who I must confess, has really surprised and hurt me.

After the meal, I politely said my goodbyes to my daughter (as we live in different parts of town) and then set about really apologising to my new partner for her bad behavior. He was so shocked, as was I, as I was convinced she would like him as much as I do.

Later that evening, my daughter text messaged me and told me simply that she didn’t like Simon, she felt he was a creep and that I could do better.

I am so hurt and upset by her reaction, but I wonder, am I expecting too much from her? Throughout my daughters life, I have put her first, without a doubt, and she recognises this, but I feel it is time for some me time and for me to get my life back. I really like Simon, and I don’t want my daughter to come between us. Do you have any advice for someone in my position, as I am really stuck here.

Karen (name changed)
DatingAgency.com Member

Well, Karen, what a predicament to be in. I do feel for you, but you are not alone. I have had a few questions like this in the past and hope I can offer you some comfort in my reply.

Firstly, your daughter, though she is a grown adult herself, needs reassurance that she is deeply loved and that your new partner, Simon, will not be taking the role of her dad. You didn’t mention if her dad is still in her life, but if he is, then it is important that you make this clear from the start.

Secondly, depending on how deeply you feel for Simon, you need to assure her that you plan on being with him for a long while and it (all going great) will be a long term relationship. She may not be bothered to get to know him or like him because she might think he is a temporary fixture. It might seem like disruption that she can do without, and might not take things seriously.

You say you have been divorced for ten years, and this may seem a long time to you, but in a child’s life (even if they are well in to their adult life now) can be very unsettling for many years and can really mould them and their thoughts about their own relationships. They might be skeptical and dismissive of your relationship with this new man, but more often than not, mainly act strange because it is really strange to see their parent with another partner who is not their mum or dad.

I am not sure how much you have talked about him with your daughter before they first met, but this can be unsettling if she didn’t know much about him and what you see in him deep down. She might see him as ‘this guy’ that you have been seeing, and not realise that you really do feel a lot for him. Hence why you wanted her to meet him.

I recommend the next thing to do is to wait a little while until you talk to your daughter about it all, give her some time to settle down a bit. Then invite her to chat to you about it in the comfort of her or your home. Explain to her exactly what you see in Simon, let her in a little bit and she will be able to see how happy he makes you. She can also voice her thoughts or concerns and you can talk them through in private before you take the next steps and with time, try again. She will want to see you happy, and will come round to things eventually.

One last thing; do remember through all of this to make sure that you not only give your daughter some of your time, your new partner some of your time, and reserve some time for yourself also.

Good luck with your new happier life, and I am so pleased you have met someone on DatingAgency.com.

Raising your confidence

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Whether you have had your heart broken, lost your loved one to illness or you have just come out of a relationship, you may have experienced a decline in your self-esteem or a low sense of confidence. If you are in need of a fast and effective confidence makeover, following these easy tips may help:

Show those pearly whites and laugh often

There is nothing sexier than a beaming smile. Smiling will lift your spirits and is scientifically proven to relieve stress by allowing your brain to produce endorphins. Laughter is the best medicine for low self-esteem and best of all, it’s free. Why don’t you get out and do things with the people that make you laugh, watch a funny movie or go and see a comedy act?

Stand up straight

When you walk down the street, stand tall and don’t slouch. Throw those shoulders back and hold your head up high. Not only does it make other people notice you, but studies show that looking up can immediately improve your mood.

Change One Thing About Your Look

It doesn’t need to be a big change, maybe dye your hair, or buy a new shirt. To make a big statement you don’t have to spend lots of money or go all out. Even subtle things like changing the way you wear your hair or trying a new perfume or aftershave can make a big difference to the way you feel. You don’t have to change everything about your look, but one or two updates can attract many compliments that will make you feel great. And remember when you receive a compliment, make sure you accept it gracefully!

Stop a bad habit

Aim to stop smoking, fidgeting or to stop biting your nails. A bad habit can take up your time, and when you stop, you’ll have some free time on your hands. This means you can make space for something new and exciting or have more time to spend on something you already love to do.

Stop caring about what other people think of you

Don’t spend another moment caring about what others think of you. Your only care is to know what you think of yourself and make sure that you give yourself approval all the time. Remember that you are great as you are, warts and all and as long as you are happy with yourself and your actions, that’s all that matters.

Why are they not replying to my messages?

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“Dear Dr. Date

Why are the females, well let’s say 99.8% of the females on DatingAgency.com, not replying to a personal email. I find this very rude.

I have even started asking for a reply even if it’s just “no thanks”. After all, we are all here looking for a relationship, so it should not be a problem.

If the ladies on here don’t start replying I shall finish with this site.”

Bob (Name changed)
DatingAgency.com Member

Hi Bob,

Thank you for sending in your query to me, and sorry to hear you are having trouble with getting noticed on DatingAgency.com. Hopefully I can offer some advice for you to put in to practice in the future.

It’s like shopping …

Someone I know spends hours in the supermarket, scrutinizing every item, looking at the ingredients, looking at the fat content, looking at the price. I am not comparing you to a can of reduced sugar baked beans, but this kind of scrutiny is what the women are doing to all men on the site.

Mature Lady Enjoying Dating OnlineA lady receives a message from a man, a stranger by all other means, and all they have to go on is what you have in your profile, what you say in your message, and your picture. Women tend to be shy, women don’t like to put themselves out there for any old guy, women like to be sure. In your dating profile, all the vital information needs to be there so that they are satisfied you are not an axe murderer and hopefully feel safe messaging you back. Change your picture and your personal profile from time to time. Keep it fresh, short, error free, positive and honest.

A way to get your message to stand out in a lady’s inbox is to add a gift to a message or add them as a favourite, this way, the system will send a different alert to the person and get their attention.

Think of it like applying for a job

It would be great to receive a personal reply, even if a no, but the reality of the fact is, that most people, if they are not interested, won’t reply and say no thanks. It’s easier for someone to ignore a message and hope the person gets the hint than to say ‘no, you’re not my type’. You could think of this process like applying for jobs, you send your CV to 20 potential employers, and you normally only hear back from a couple. You might receive one call for an interview, and the other one was a ‘thanks but no thanks’. Like jobs, the right kind of person is out there, and takes time, effort and research to find them!

Ask and you will get

Imagine you are in a pub or the supermarket, you walk up to a nice looking lady and you say “Hi, I like your dress”. She says ‘Erm, thanks’ and gives you a slight embarrassed smile. Unless you are George Clooney, she most likely wants you to go away.

If you go up to her and say “Hi, I see you have a fitness magazine there, you don’t happen to know where the nearest fitness club is?” She will most likely reply “Yes I do …” and the conversation (if only for a moment) can start on something you both have in common, and it won’t embarrass her in front of any of her friends or family. You can end the conversation by saying “Nice chatting to you, maybe see you in here again”. Saying something casual like this, lets her know you go there often, and if she is interested in chatting some more, that maybe she’ll catch you in there again.

If you apply this to the way you message people on DatingAgency, you will be sure to get more replies. Ask someone where they were in their profile picture because it looks familiar to you, or ask them what breed of dog they have if they talk about walking their dog. Ask simple but related questions, and you will receive simple replies to build a conversation on.

One last thing…

I suggest being considerate to a woman’s feelings on ‘talk of sex’ so early on. A man should not lead with something like this as a selling point or a suggestion of further actions until some emails have gone back and forth, and you are MUCH more comfortable with each other.

I hope some of this helps you out, and if you have any further questions about DatingAgency.com, please call our friendly customer services team on 0800 987 5555 free from a landline, or email us here.

If you have a question to ask Dr Date, email him here.

Internet Dating and Fraud- How we combat 419 Scamming

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Charlotte our Customer Care Supervisor, explains what a ‘419 scam’ is:

What is a 419 Scam?

419 represents a type of scam typically used by Nigerian scam artists. The most common tactics used for this type of scam include:

  • Romance Scam- the 419er has fallen madly in love with the target but in order for them to be together, the target must send various amounts of money so that the 419er can fly over and be with them.
  • Will Scam- the 419er has inherited a large amount of money which they are offering to the target for a certain fee.
  • Disaster Scam- the 419er says that someone has been killed in a tragic accident, leaving a large sum of money behind which can be claimed by the target if the 419er can be advanced the monies necessary to process the transaction.
  • Chat Room Scam- the 419er meets the target online in a chat room or through a dating or instant messenger online service, befriends the target, and gets the target to advance him / her monies for various reasons

All of the above scam tactics are used daily in the internet dating world…but surely the public don’t fall for these tricks, do they??? Yes they do – in fact 8,503 cases have been reported across 152 countries in 2009 alone. This adds up to a whopping $9.3 billion (£5.7 billion).

Luckily for us we have our trusty in-house Moderation team who fight off the scammers 7 days a week to keep our members safe. Hooray!

The team consists of 4 full-timers and 7 part-timers who ensure that all scammers are removed from our sites before making contact with any members. They have been trained to pick up on everything from “scammerish” photos and sob stories, down to their grammar and jargon. We seldom see scammers pass our Moderation checks but if they do manage, we will always find them through various daily fraud checks.

Having a moderation team here at DatingAgency.com means that our members can browse the site and build online relationships without the added worry of being targeted by scammers. We do love a happy ending!

Read how you can keep yourself safe whilst dating online with DatingAgency.com.

How DatingAgency.com keeps you safe online

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What DatingAgency.com is doing to help keep you safe

Here at DatingAgency.com we pride ourselves on having the best possible measures in place to combat online fraud and keep our Members safe. Here are a few reasons why DatingAgency.com is better placed to combat scammers and fraudsters:

Dedicated Scammer Prevention Team

We have a dedicated team in our UK offices that check through all member profiles, photos and first messages for your reassurance and safety! They are trained in spotting those undesirable scammers and block their access to the site straight away.

Payment for Full Membership required

Scammers are reluctant to pay to run their scams and are therefore much more likely to join a free site than to go through the process of upgrading their DatingAgency.com account as the more serious members looking for friendships and commitments do.

Technology & Real People Combating Scammers!

Sometimes (although rarely) more sophisticated scammers bypass our prevention team – we of course have measures in place to deal with this – we use sophisticated software to alert us to a member whose activity seems suspicious.

We listen to our Members

Finally, if anyone does slip through the net there is a simple one-click system for Members to report anyone who they think is suspicious or who has contacted them with anything other than dating in mind. Just use the “Report this profile” link at the bottom of the person’s profile and in no time at all one of our team will be examining the offending profile.

We know that by telling our Members about what’s going on and how we’re combating “undesirables” it makes it all the more easy for them to spot fraudsters and avoid being caught up in any trouble. Click here for some basic advice and rules on how to spot and avoid such scams.

Keeping safe online

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There’s a lot talked about using online communities and their potential risks to your personal information, personal finances and even personal safety. But in truth it doesn’t take a lot to minimise those risks, if not eliminate them completely.

Follow these few simple check points and you’ll have nothing to worry about:

Passwords

As with any login information, choose a password that you can easily remember but that would be difficult for anyone else to guess. Childrens’ names are easy to remember but could be quite straightforward for someone who knows you to guess. Passwords such as “password”, “123456″ or “qwerty” or a definite no-no, as is you own name! DatingAgency.com will never send you e-mail asking for your password, so if you get anything like this, please forward it on to us.

Personal information

We all want to appear open and friendly when we’re meeting new people, but we should also be careful to make sure we want someone to have our information before giving it out. DatingAgency.com has a wonderful messaging system which means you don’t need to give out any contact information at all until you’re happy to, so don’t be afraid to tell someone that you’d rather stick to the on-site system for a bit longer. If they’re genuine then they won’t have a problem.

Scammers

You should treat people in much the same way online as you do in the real world. If someone you barely know asks to borrow money or asks for any sort of financial details whatsoever, then alarm bells should start to ring. You wouldn’t expect someone you met in the pub last week to ask for money, and you shouldn’t expect it online either. If you have any such contact from another Member then you should use the “Report this profile” link to alert our team.

Personal safety

There’s plenty of advice knocking around for when meeting up with someone you’ve met online, but the bottom line is that you should always stay in control. Meet in a public place, tell someone when and where you’re going, and arrange to call them at a given time to confirm all’s going well. If your date is worth their salt, they will completely understand and, rather than having a problem with your caution, will probably just be impressed at how well organised you are.

Don’t panic!

When all’s said and done, the vast majority of people you meet online will be genuine people just like you who are simply looking for a date, a bit of fun and maybe a chance of finding the love of their life. Unfortunately, it’s best to plan for the worst and then allow people to prove themselves otherwise, but don’t let the occasional dodgy character spoil your enjoyment. Just be aware that there is the odd one out there and exercise a little caution, as you would in any other place where you’re meeting new people.

Tips (and new service) for profile writing

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Writing your personal profile is much easier if you keep a few things in mind.

This is the best way for other members to get to know you and what you are looking for. Include those things that you care about: your hobbies, interests and any activities you love to do. They all help start those all important first conversations.

For example if you love to travel, mention some of your favourite destinations; if you enjoy cooking then include some of your trademark dishes or restaurants you love to go too. This way you are letting members know of some common ground that you may both share.

Be informative when describing yourself and try to include as much of your personality: are you bubbly, conscientious, outgoing, thoughtful?

Don’t forget to include what you are looking for in a partner, any characteristics or interests you are hoping they have. This will help members to know if they are a potential match for you.

Remember that this is your chance to promote yourself so include those things that make you the special and unique person you are. Be honest and positive and above all have fun writing your profile, if you enjoy writing it then someone will enjoy reading it.

If you’d still like some help then think about our suggestions above first and then call us free on 0800 987 5555. Please note this number is only in use between 9am and 5.30pm Monday to Friday.

She stood me up

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“Dear Dr. Date

After chatting online to a really great lady, I asked her out on a date, which took me a lot of courage, even if it was only via email. To my delight, she accepted and we arranged a date, time and place to meet.

I bought a new shirt and was really looking forward to meeting her in person. I ordered a bottle of wine, then sat myself down at a nice table by the window so that if the conversation lacked a bit, we could just people watch together!

I waited for her to come in the door…and I waited…and I waited some more. Thirty minutes ticked by and unfortunately I realised that I had been stood up. I left the bottle of wine and took off.

What happened has really blown my confidence and I can’t bring myself to ask her why she stood me up. How can I get over this and not let it happen again?

From Harry, 49, Gloucester”

Dear Harry, I am sorry to hear that your confidence has been shattered by a bad dating experience. Unfortunately, everyone has negative experiences when embarking on to the dating scene, but you have to remember to take the rough with the smooth, and to not take anything personally, ever.

Here are some tips to follow for the next time you arrange a date with a potential partner.

Dr. Date - I've been stood upIf you have a few days between the ask and the first date, call, text or email them to confirm that date. If you don’t hear back, don’t attend the date. Leave a polite second message saying that you have not heard from the person so you will not be there. Give the person the benefit of the doubt, and always be polite if they don’t confirm their attendance, sometimes life gets in the way and things that crock up can’t be helped.

If you make plans with someone, they confirm, and they still don’t show, give them only one more chance. Something important could have come up, and they may not have been able to call. Always be polite when asking why they didn’t turn up but never accept flakey excuses. If they have a believable excuse, give them the benefit of the doubt and try and start over. If they do it again, leave them well alone.

Unfortunately, every so often you might meet someone who will string you along. They’ll ask you out, make some promises, then when it comes to confirming, they let you down. Just forget about them, there are plenty more people to date! If you have to confront them, never appear desperate or rude, take a deep breath and move on.

If you have a question to ask Dr Date, email him here.

Avoid The 3 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Dating Online

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Dating coach Sharon Vickery explains the three biggest mistakes people make when dating online, and how you can avoid them.

Dating coach, Sharon Vickery

Dating coach Sharon Vickery

Your ideal partner is out there, right now waiting for you, but the best way to find them is to identify what’s not been working for you so far and then to make adjustments until you get the results you want.

Online dating is a great way to meet other like-minded single people, there’s no doubt about it, but too often we start to upload a profile and send those winks and emails when we’re feeling lonely on a Sunday afternoon, in the hope that our love life might miraculously change by 8pm!

So, if you’re finding the dating process a struggle or if you’ve been feeling frustrated, confused or lonely, don’t worry. The good news is that I’m here to help, and the answers to where you’ve been going wrong are just around the corner.  Here’s how you can avoid the 3 biggest mistakes people make with online dating.

No.1:  Not Committing The Time And Effort To Dating Online

How great would it be if we could go to the gym once every 6 months for 2 hours and have the body of our dreams! That would be on my wish list for sure but realistically I know I have to go 3 or 4 times a week to stay in shape.

There’s no quick fix for finding love online in the same way that there’s no quick fix for having a healthy body. You have to be proactive and put the work in to see the results – and if you do, the results will be priceless. Continue reading →

Dating Advice: How To Write A Winning Profile

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Write a winning profile that will get you noticed for all the right reasons.

It can be daunting writing your dating profile; what should you say, how long should it be and how do you make it interesting?  Here’s how to get noticed for all the right reasons.

First Impressions Count

Think of your profile and photo as your calling card; this is your first impression so make sure it counts! Anyone who visits your page will decide whether or not they want to hear from you, contact you, or meet up with you on the basis of your profile.

When you first join, take a look around DatingAgency.com to see what other members do, so you can see what looks great and what sounds dreadful. We’re sure you’ll agree that there’s nothing worse than a one line profile that says; ‘I don’t know what to write here. If you want to know anything, just ask.’ This just makes the person sound dull, uninteresting and lazy, and if you do this whilst paying to be a full member, you’re just wasting your money! Continue reading →