Tag Archives: Dating Diary

Dear Diary – The resurrected schoolgirl crush

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Last month I told you about my lovely date with T and how we were progressing… until I caught a glimpse of an old school crush mid-date! Since I’m making a habit of abbreviating first names, I’m calling him SC.

I couldn’t help it, but SC caught my eye, I couldn’t get him off my mind in fact, so after T left I decided to go over and see if SC remembered me. I figured that if I remembered him, he may remember me, and hopefully it wouldn’t be too awkward approaching him.

After another V&T, I went over, he was talking to a friend, a male one may I add, and he seemed to be talking about something funny as had a big grin on his face whilst chatting.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Hi, I think I know who you are…”
SC: “…yes, I have to admit, we were just talking about you, you went to the same school as me, didn’t you?”
Me: “Yes, I can’t believe it’s been so long and that despite some slight aging (!) we recognised each other! So what has happened in all these years? Marriages…kids… the usual?”
SC: “I’ve never married actually, and I have no children, but I have some very good friends and a dog so I’m good for now!”

YES!!

Now, I bet you are thinking, what about poor T who you’ve just been on a date with, and you’ve swapped mobile numbers with etc etc? Well, what am I to do, theres a handsome man, I am single, he is single, we know each other from way, way back… I wouldn’t want to pass up a chance of at least getting to know him a little better… as friends… I’m not convincing you am I?

After a bit more conversation, I was very forward and asked if we could join them for a drink whilst I beckoned my friend over. My friend is happily married by the way, so this wasn’t a double date situation, just four people chatting and generally catching up. My friend is always trying to send me out on blind dates with her single friends, so she knows the score here and tries to feed in strategic compliments about me in the subsequent chatting!

After a good hour or so, and whilst my friend had decided to go to touch up her make-up and SC’s friend had had to leave (was probably bored), SC asked me what I was doing next weekend, and if I fancied going out for a meal with him. I felt myself blush a little – if this had happened when we were at school, I probably would have yelped out loud with joy! I had such a schoolgirl crush on him – you know, the all-consuming crushes you had when you were young, the ones where you practice your signature with his surname and daydream about what it would be like to have him notice you!

I of course accepted and we made a date.

I can’t help but wonder what this may turn in to, but I’m not practicing my new surname just yet!

Dear Diary – It’s raining men!

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It’s been a while since I updated you on my ‘love life’. A couple of months ago I told you about my trials and tribulations of my encounters with T – you can catch up here if you like.

I was about to embark on my third meeting with T after a turbulent first and second date with him, and I must say, the date went swimmingly! We were both relaxed, confident and seemed willing to see where the date took us without playing games with each other.

Early on in the date, we just sipped coffee and shared a piece of cake, but the afternoon flew by and we decided to go to a nice pub down the road for a bit of food and a G&T (well, I had a G&T, he had another coffee as he was driving).

He ordered a shepherds pie and I ordered a goats cheese salad. Food that I didn’t have to eat fast before it got cold, as we seemed to have a lot to talk about.

T was telling me about his work, and a story about one of his colleagues who he plays golf with. I was nodding (pretending that I knew a lot about golf) and mid mouthful of a goats cheese crouton, over the shoulder of T, I caught the eye of a man that I thought I recognised. I made a ‘knowing’ kind of nod to his direction and thought in my head “who is that man, I know him from somewhere, but can’t quite think wh…OH. MY. GOODNESS.”

It was my first crush at school! It had to have been maybe thirty five years since the last time I saw him and boy did he look different, in a handsome, tall and very dashing way! I must admit, for a few moments at least, I had to tear my eyes away from him and concentrate on the task in hand, which was impressing and engaging T on our date!

A couple of hours passed and by the time we finished our desserts, T had to leave. I must admit, I had become a little distracted by my blast from the past, and although I was enjoying T’s company, I did wonder whether my school crush recognised me after all these years. I wondered whether he was married, maybe he was single…! I can imagine this is all sounding very harsh on poor T, but I couldn’t really help thinking about SC (school crush)…

After a very sweet kiss on the cheek from T, and a swapping of mobile numbers later, he was gone – into the night he went. He did offer me a lift home, but I decided to call my friend and have another drink with her as she only lived a few doors away from the pub. And besides, SC was still here…

Now, I know that you want to know what happened that night, but I am running out of time, and you’ll have to come back next time to find out! Let me give you a hint though – he was single and he did remember me! If I liked those emoticon things, I would be writing a winking face right now!

Dear Diary – You want a second chance, do you?

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Last month you heard about my trials and tribulations of being chucked by my first and only date in a good few years. Read the wonderfully uplifting story here.

Well, it turns out that T may have had a little change of heart!

Here’s his message (I’m sure he won’t mind me sharing with you!) “I feel I have been a bit hasty. Would you give me a second chance?”

Short…and to the point…I guess.

Part of me wanted to email back straight away and tell him “I forgive you and yes I will give you another chance”. But part of me thought I should be a little cautious. If the man is keen he’ll give me a day or two to decide, surely?!

Nearly 24 hours (not that I counted – okay I did) after T messaged, I composed a message back. It went something like this:

“T, it was somewhat a suprise to hear from you, and I especially didn’t imagine you would ask me to give you a second chance, I thought it was me that blew it. I am willing to give this a go again, but we have to be honest with each other and if I do ask you about your past, it’s because I am interested and genuinely want to know more about you. I have no secrets and would freely offer all details of my past relationships should you really want to know – warts ‘n’ all! So how about meeting for a coffee sometime soon?”

I pressed send swiftly and logged out of my computer for a while.

Two minutes later, I logged back in, and he hadn’t messaged me back yet. I logged off again. I logged in ten minutes later, and there was a message! I am glad he couldn’t see me, I had seemingly turned into a lovestruck teenager waiting for his every move!

His message explained that he was sorry for acting hastily and that he was ready to see where a few more dates would go and that he liked me. HE LIKED ME!!!! Proof, in writing, a man likes me!! And most excitingly, I liked him too! A mutual like – this could actually go somewhere!

We planned a date a few days later and as the time passed I got more and more nervous. Even more nervous than the first date with T – shaky hands nervous! How could this be? I had to busy myself with things to try and take my mind off it. I figured it was because I blew the last date with T and was keen not to do it again. And the fact he confessed his undying love for me (ahem) that I wanted it all to work.

The day of the date swiftly appeared, I picked out my ‘best’ outfit – without help, I was getting good at this – and trotted off to my local coffee shop to meet T. The coffee shop had a big glass frontage so I was able to spot T before I entered. Goodness me, my heart was beating out of my chest, I felt clammy to touch and my face felt flushed. I have actually turned in to a teenager, or I am seriously ill and need to see a Doctor! A Doctor of love perhaps!!

Would you like to hear how the date went? Well you’ll have to tune back in next month!

Dear Diary – oh the baggage!

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Last month you heard about my second meeting with T, and how I ended up upsetting him thus compelling him to make a swift exit. Read the gory story here.

Well, I did eventually hear back from him, but … he gave me the old heave-ho!

Real-life dating diaryIt hurt quite a lot to think that he didn’t want to see me again, and I was frustrated with myself that I had blown it over a few casual questions. People with baggage – we find them everywhere, I have my own family sized set of bursting open suitcases myself. I would have liked to have the chance to listen to his story and help him move on. But I wasn’t given the chance to let our ‘relationship’ go any further.

After a long phone-call to my good friend and a glass of vodka and tonic, I have decided to walk away from the experience with an age old saying in the forefront of my mind – ‘you win some, you lose some’. I lost this one. But I’m too old to dwell on it, so move on I shall.

I’ve decided to get straight back in to the dating pool, and not waste any more time. I have re-written my profile text and refreshed a couple of my pictures so that people could read and see something new about me.

I noticed that in my time off the site and dating T, that DatingAgency.com have launched a new feature called Encounters. Now this looked like my kind of fun! As I was sifting through all the men, clicking a few maybe’s, a few no’s and a lot of yeses (I figured, what did I have to lose) a little message box popped up from someone that wanted to chat to me whilst online.

I hesitated for a moment because I wanted to check whether I looked okay and if I had anything in my teeth. Then I realised that they can’t actually see me, and besides, I have no webcam on my ancient computer!

Feeling bold, I clicked ‘accept’ and there he was. Two seconds passed, and he started firing questions at me left right and centre. I could barely reply before the next question was asked. I wasn’t nearly as fast at typing as he seemed to want me to be! Flustered, I asked him to slow down. He typed back “I’m in a hurry.”

What was I supposed to get from that? He requested to message me, I accepted and he’s in a hurry?! I wasn’t aware that this had turned into online speed dating! With a swift click of the mouse, I got rid of the message box. Back to voting on some potential suitors – in my own time!

I probably clicked ‘yes’ on about twenty men out of fifty. Even if one of those people liked me back, then I’d be on to something. I decided to pop out for a coffee and check my messages when I got back. I was eagerly awaiting Prince Charming in a shining suit of armour to message me and sweep me away for a romantic whirlwind romance, but in reality, I would settle for a kind and caring 5’10” plus man. That’s not really too much to ask is it?

Suitably caffeinated, a couple of hours later I returned to my study, and there they were, winks and messages and my inbox was telling me ‘so and so has looked at your profile’ and ‘so and so want’s to chat’.

Well! I could get used to this attention!

Sifting through my five or six emails in my DatingAgency.com inbox, I did a double-take when I saw that T had messaged me! I felt a little flutter in my stomach as I clicked on the message to read it.

Wait … you don’t think I am going to tell you what it said do you? You’ll have to wait until next time before I divulge!

Dear Diary – my second date!

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Last month’s diary excerpt contained the highs and lows of my first date.

T and I met for the first time and I explained it back then as ‘turbulent’! We clashed on so many levels, our thoughts, our opinions, our backgrounds. But this sparked a great buzz between us – enough to secure myself a second date a few weeks later!

I got dolled up – my daughter helped me dress myself again! I don’t know what to think about her eagerness to get her hands on my wardrobe at times like this. She doesn’t say in so many words that I look and dress like an old woman, but I think that’s what she’s hinting! Anyway, I ended up feeling quite confident about my ‘look’ and started to get really excited to meet T again, this time we arranged dinner rather than coffee.

I sat down at our table and ordered a drink for myself, a large glass of red wine, to calm my nerves a little! I looked around and saw so many other couples having romantic meals, chatting in depth to each other, holding hands over the tables, laughing. I really want that again.

After a couple of large gulps of my drink, I jumped slightly when I received a tap on my shoulder. It was T. I blushed and got up. Suddenly, a thought entered my head, do I kiss him, do I hug him, do I shake his hand? I decided to smile and kiss him on the cheek. I remember thinking, I hope that wasn’t too much!

After a few flustered moments trying to figure out if we both wanted starters and more wine, or no starters and just desserts or just mains and no starters or desserts (!) we started to relax and ask each other how we have been and what we have been up to. The usual small talk!

Our starters arrived, and by then we had both relaxed a touch. I told him I had been looking forward to seeing him again and he reciprocated the compliment, it was all going well so far! It took a good twenty minutes of chatting and eating to finishing our starters. Conversation felt very casual and relaxed between us, but it wasn’t really about ourselves, it was about what was going on in the world, news and current affairs. This was nice, but I remember thinking that I wanted to get to know T. I wanted to know about him, whether he had children, how many times he had been married, where he grew up.

Our main courses arrived, and whilst cutting my steak, I asked T why he joined DatingAgency.com and how long he had been a member. He answered sheepishly that he had been a member for about a year and that he had become lonely in later life. I asked if he had children and he said he had none. This really suprised me. He told me that he had wanted children, but the time never came. I asked him if he had been married. He told me that he was married until his late thirties and that his wife had died of cancer.

I felt AWFUL. How hideous of me to make him bring his past up. I hoped I had not upset him. He got up suddenly and said he was going to the bathroom. I remember sitting there thinking what the heck have I done, and worried that I had ruined it all.

He returned after a couple of minutes, and I apologized profusely for being so forward and for making him drag his past up like that. I should have waited for him to tell me. He said “don’t worry, you weren’t to know. Yes it still hurts like hell to have to relive the story every time I meet people, but it was a long time ago now and I need to start being strong about it”. This made me feel slightly better, but I still felt pretty awful.

After a few silent mouthfuls of the rest of our dinner, I tried to change the subject and start talking about the impending Christmas season. I asked T if he was ready for it, and he said he didn’t really celebrate Christmas because he doesn’t have any children, and it’s just him and his elderly mother. What more can I do to make this date the most awkward and soul crushing time for T!! I couldn’t help but feel bad.

The date ended rather abruptly when we finished our main meals, as T told me he had to go. We split the bill and said our goodbyes. He said he’d loved seeing me again and he will hopefully see me soon. I told him the same, and left it at that. No kisses, no hugs. Just a sad looking smile as he turned to leave.

I kicked myself.  I felt like an insensitive buffoon. Why did I have to dig up his past like that! I think i’ve ruined it all. After feeling horrible for a few days after the date, and long phone calls reliving every moment to my friend, I decided to email T and thank him for a nice time and to apologise if I had upset him. I heard nothing for days.

I think you and I know what will happen next.

Join me next month and I’ll fill you in!

Dear Diary – what not to wear?

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At the end of last month’s diary excerpt, I told you all I HAVE MYSELF A DATE!

Shall I tell you how it went?

Well, first things first, I’ll tell you how I found myself this date! I was re-writing my profile (which I have done four times so far – you’ve got to keep it fresh!) and I saw that DatingAgency.com had suggested a member in the ‘featured member’ box. Well, in full flow of writing to the men of the world about my personality traits and most loved activities in life, I clicked on his very handsome face and had a read of his profile. It sounded very very promising, plus he lived in the next town from me, so that is very convenient indeed!

I stalked him online for a little while (in a casual and aloof manner you have to understand) and decided after a couple of days of reading and re-reading his profile, sent him a ‘wink’. To my delight, he reciprocated and sent me a rather nice message.

“Hi, I am very flattered to receive your wink, would you like to have a quick chat when you are online next? I like what you said in your profile and looks like we have a lot in common. Speak to you soon? T”

He didn’t call himself T, one of my pet-hates is to abbreviate ones name, I have protected his name for the purpose of this diary post! I don’t one anyone nabbing my man!

Anyway, how could I resist his offer of a chat, seems like a nice man!! Plus what have I to lose?

We spent a couple of days missing each other as we both have pretty busy schedules, but we managed to exchange a few casual emails about the basic things, like how we came to be dating online (without going in to the gory details of the past, thankfully) and what we like to do at the weekends, all that boring smalltalk!

I decided after a couple of days of emailing that it’s kind of pointless to keep on asking questions over the internet, so I just asked him outright …

“Would you like to meet up sometime soon? There’s a nice pub near us that do a good merlot!”

I’m not getting any younger, and I was getting a good feeling from our conversation so I decided to cut to the chase and ask him out! Considering I have not been on a date for about two hundred years, I was suprisingly calm doing the asking.

This feeling of calm did not however follow through to the day of the date! I became a nervous wreck!

What not to wear!I was petrified about wearing something too young, or too old, or too short, or too tight! I decided to pay a little visit to my daughters house to see what she thought of my outfit choices. She was grinning as I was trying everything on and explaining my reasonings for each item. She kept looking at me in a way that said “Oh Mum, you’re going on a date….with a man!!!!” She was very enthusiastic, and gave me lots of advice, and I even ended up borrowing a couple of items from her. Not a pair of hotpants or high heels if that’s what you are thinking!

I ended up wearing a pair of nicely cut jeans and my daughters blouse with a fitted jacket and nice necklace. Despite my daughter trying to get me in her sexy shoes, I went for my tried and trusted flat shoes as I didn’t want to trip through the door in to the lap of my date! I felt confident that no wardrobe malfunctions were going to happen with this outfit which gave me a boost of self confidence and in turn started to look forward to the date!

Now to report how the date itself went…

It contained awkward silences, differs of opinions, heated debates, uncomfortable moments when splitting the bill, and generally turned out to be a bit of a disaster!! How about the bit when the button of my daughters blouse undid itself and I sat there for at least 30 minutes showing my brassiere? Teaches me to not road test the outfit before the date!

Despite this turbulent first meeting, T has asked me out again, and I have accepted! Even though the date didn’t go very well, there was a very strong and undeniable spark between us! Our differing opinions on worldly matters and heated debates were very stimulating. I have actually never met a man that had an intelligent opinion about anything and that is able to keep up with my dry and sometimes cynical humour.

I figured the tumbleweed moments were just normal and the awkward splitting the bill thing – I will overlook!

I am very excited to see T again, and this time, I will wear something I am confident won’t fall apart and show off my underwear, and make sure I have done my homework on public affairs so the awkward silences don’t happen!

I’ll let you know how it’s going next month!

Dear Diary – I need a lesson in modern language

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So, If you read last months instalment, I was having a hard time writing my online dating profile description. I look at it more as a work in progress, like my life. I have been browsing around to see what others were writing, but I have come up against a little oddity.

A lesson in modern languageOMG, LOL, ROFL, LMAO. What the heck are all these people talking about? I need an urban dictionary just to read through some peoples profile descriptions!

Okay, so I know what GSOH means, I used to see that in dating adverts in the local newspapers when I was younger – about a hundred years ago. But what is LOL and why are so many people LOL’ing around? Have I been asleep for twenty years and completely missed out on lessons in a new English language?

I had to embarassingly ask my daughter for a little lesson. LOL means ‘laugh out loud’ apparently. Is that same as writing ‘ha, ha’ at the end of a sentence? I’m kind of lost on this concept.

Anyway, after getting over this little hurdle, I must say I have been totally sucked in to the dating site! How addictive it is to browse men’s profiles! I feel like I am snooping on them in some way, it’s quite a thrill! I must admit, there are some really great looking men on DatingAgency.com!

Now I understand why some people are ‘rolling on the floor laughing’, I really think I am on to something good here. I have added five men to my favourites list, I have received a few compliments from very pleasurable to look at men, and … shock of all shocks, I HAVE MYSELF A DATE!

Dear Diary – what do I write?

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Dear Dating Diary,

Let’s cut to the chase. I want a man who looks like George Clooney, sounds like Sean Connery and treats me like The Queen.

I have just become a member of DatingAgency.com, an online dating website where only over 41′s can be a member. Step one is to write something about myself for all to see.

How about: “I am a 57 year old divorcee with two 30 something children (can I call them children anymore?!). I have been on the shelf for over 15 years, and am so completely and utterly daunted by online dating, that the thought of it all makes me want to run away to a nunnery and make jam for the rest of my life.”

If I am honest, surely I would put everyone off?

I was wondering when the last time was that I was asked to write and reflect about myself and my personality? Maybe the last time I applied for a job, which was about ten years ago, and I lied then too!!

I feel the only way to get through this step is the write a list of all the things I love to do:

I love to spend time with my family
I love a good glass of red wine
I love going to the theatre
I love crafts

…. this is all sounding very boring isn’t it!

Maybe talking about the interesting things I have done in my life will sound a bit better?

I have met Princess Diana, I used to ride a Kawasaki 500, I have a cat called Brian, I have my own business making and selling handbags, I am a trained Prison Officer and I make a mean victoria sponge! That’s certainly a couple of talking points!

Over a cup of tea and a chocolate brownie, I asked one of my dearest friends to describe me in a couple of sentences, and I told her to be brutely honest – I ensured her I could take it (which again was a lie, I couldn’t take it, and hoped she would be utterly flattering). She said:

“Humorous, creative, young at heart and attractive 50 something with a very caring nature. A great friend, generous and fun to be around, she will always be there when you need her, if for cake and nothing else.”

Hang on a minute, I sound really lovely, why am I single again?

My daughter tells me that I need to just go for it, write something, and mull it over for a few days and I can always change it at a later date. The great thing, she assures me, about online dating is that you are protected and safe, and as long as you don’t give out personal information to the people you are chatting to, it’s a great way to meet people you just wouldn’t meet on a daily basis. She met her now husband on a dating website, so she’s a pretty good testimonial for online dating. I once paid for an old fashioned Dating Agency, you know, the ones that tell you that they have hundreds of men on their books waiting to go out on dates. What an absolute disaster that was, I went on two dates in a year, and both men were so completely not what I told the Agency is was looking for or attracted to. That’s different to this, thankfully!

What have I got to lose really? If nothing more is gained than making a couple of friends along the way, I will have lost nothing – except for a few hours of my life spent on the internet, but it’s better than sitting watching re-runs of Come Dine With Me…. but I do really love that programme!

Wish me luck, I’m logging in!