Dear Diary – The resurrected schoolgirl crush

Last month I told you about my lovely date with T and how we were progressing… until I caught a glimpse of an old school crush mid-date! Since I’m making a habit of abbreviating first names, I’m calling him SC.

I couldn’t help it, but SC caught my eye, I couldn’t get him off my mind in fact, so after T left I decided to go over and see if SC remembered me. I figured that if I remembered him, he may remember me, and hopefully it wouldn’t be too awkward approaching him.

After another V&T, I went over, he was talking to a friend, a male one may I add, and he seemed to be talking about something funny as had a big grin on his face whilst chatting.

The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Hi, I think I know who you are…
SC: “…yes, I have to admit, we were just talking about you, you went to the same school as me, didn’t you?
Me: “Yes, I can’t believe it’s been so long and that despite some slight aging (!) we recognised each other! So what has happened in all these years? Marriages…kids… the usual?
SC: “I’ve never married actually, and I have no children, but I have some very good friends and a dog so I’m good for now!

YES!!

Now, I bet you are thinking, what about poor T who you’ve just been on a date with, and you’ve swapped mobile numbers with etc etc? Well, what am I to do, theres a handsome man, I am single, he is single, we know each other from way, way back… I wouldn’t want to pass up a chance of at least getting to know him a little better… as friends… I’m not convincing you am I?

After a bit more conversation, I was very forward and asked if we could join them for a drink whilst I beckoned my friend over. My friend is happily married by the way, so this wasn’t a double date situation, just four people chatting and generally catching up. My friend is always trying to send me out on blind dates with her single friends, so she knows the score here and tries to feed in strategic compliments about me in the subsequent chatting!

After a good hour or so, and whilst my friend had decided to go to touch up her make-up and SC’s friend had had to leave (was probably bored), SC asked me what I was doing next weekend, and if I fancied going out for a meal with him. I felt myself blush a little – if this had happened when we were at school, I probably would have yelped out loud with joy! I had such a schoolgirl crush on him – you know, the all-consuming crushes you had when you were young, the ones where you practice your signature with his surname and daydream about what it would be like to have him notice you!

I of course accepted and we made a date.

I can’t help but wonder what this may turn in to, but I’m not practicing my new surname just yet!

Dear Diary – It’s raining men!

It’s been a while since I updated you on my ‘love life’. A couple of months ago I told you about my trials and tribulations of my encounters with T – you can catch up here if you like.

I was about to embark on my third meeting with T after a turbulent first and second date with him, and I must say, the date went swimmingly! We were both relaxed, confident and seemed willing to see where the date took us without playing games with each other.

Early on in the date, we just sipped coffee and shared a piece of cake, but the afternoon flew by and we decided to go to a nice pub down the road for a bit of food and a G&T (well, I had a G&T, he had another coffee as he was driving).

He ordered a shepherds pie and I ordered a goats cheese salad. Food that I didn’t have to eat fast before it got cold, as we seemed to have a lot to talk about.

T was telling me about his work, and a story about one of his colleagues who he plays golf with. I was nodding (pretending that I knew a lot about golf) and mid mouthful of a goats cheese crouton, over the shoulder of T, I caught the eye of a man that I thought I recognised. I made a ‘knowing’ kind of nod to his direction and thought in my head “who is that man, I know him from somewhere, but can’t quite think wh…OH. MY. GOODNESS.

It was my first crush at school! It had to have been maybe thirty five years since the last time I saw him and boy did he look different, in a handsome, tall and very dashing way! I must admit, for a few moments at least, I had to tear my eyes away from him and concentrate on the task in hand, which was impressing and engaging T on our date!

A couple of hours passed and by the time we finished our desserts, T had to leave. I must admit, I had become a little distracted by my blast from the past, and although I was enjoying T’s company, I did wonder whether my school crush recognised me after all these years. I wondered whether he was married, maybe he was single…! I can imagine this is all sounding very harsh on poor T, but I couldn’t really help thinking about SC (school crush)…

After a very sweet kiss on the cheek from T, and a swapping of mobile numbers later, he was gone – into the night he went. He did offer me a lift home, but I decided to call my friend and have another drink with her as she only lived a few doors away from the pub. And besides, SC was still here…

Now, I know that you want to know what happened that night, but I am running out of time, and you’ll have to come back next time to find out! Let me give you a hint though – he was single and he did remember me! If I liked those emoticon things, I would be writing a winking face right now!

Dear Diary – You want a second chance, do you?

Last month you heard about my trials and tribulations of being chucked by my first and only date in a good few years. Read the wonderfully uplifting story here.

Well, it turns out that T may have had a little change of heart!

Here’s his message (I’m sure he won’t mind me sharing with you!) “I feel I have been a bit hasty. Would you give me a second chance?

Short…and to the point…I guess.

Part of me wanted to email back straight away and tell him “I forgive you and yes I will give you another chance”. But part of me thought I should be a little cautious. If the man is keen he’ll give me a day or two to decide, surely?!

Nearly 24 hours (not that I counted – okay I did) after T messaged, I composed a message back. It went something like this:

T, it was somewhat a suprise to hear from you, and I especially didn’t imagine you would ask me to give you a second chance, I thought it was me that blew it. I am willing to give this a go again, but we have to be honest with each other and if I do ask you about your past, it’s because I am interested and genuinely want to know more about you. I have no secrets and would freely offer all details of my past relationships should you really want to know – warts ‘n’ all! So how about meeting for a coffee sometime soon?

I pressed send swiftly and logged out of my computer for a while.

Two minutes later, I logged back in, and he hadn’t messaged me back yet. I logged off again. I logged in ten minutes later, and there was a message! I am glad he couldn’t see me, I had seemingly turned into a lovestruck teenager waiting for his every move!

His message explained that he was sorry for acting hastily and that he was ready to see where a few more dates would go and that he liked me. HE LIKED ME!!!! Proof, in writing, a man likes me!! And most excitingly, I liked him too! A mutual like – this could actually go somewhere!

We planned a date a few days later and as the time passed I got more and more nervous. Even more nervous than the first date with T – shaky hands nervous! How could this be? I had to busy myself with things to try and take my mind off it. I figured it was because I blew the last date with T and was keen not to do it again. And the fact he confessed his undying love for me (ahem) that I wanted it all to work.

The day of the date swiftly appeared, I picked out my ‘best’ outfit – without help, I was getting good at this – and trotted off to my local coffee shop to meet T. The coffee shop had a big glass frontage so I was able to spot T before I entered. Goodness me, my heart was beating out of my chest, I felt clammy to touch and my face felt flushed. I have actually turned in to a teenager, or I am seriously ill and need to see a Doctor! A Doctor of love perhaps!!

Would you like to hear how the date went? Well you’ll have to tune back in next month!

Dear Diary – oh the baggage!

Last month you heard about my second meeting with T, and how I ended up upsetting him thus compelling him to make a swift exit. Read the gory story here.

Well, I did eventually hear back from him, but … he gave me the old heave-ho!

Real-life dating diaryIt hurt quite a lot to think that he didn’t want to see me again, and I was frustrated with myself that I had blown it over a few casual questions. People with baggage – we find them everywhere, I have my own family sized set of bursting open suitcases myself. I would have liked to have the chance to listen to his story and help him move on. But I wasn’t given the chance to let our ‘relationship’ go any further.

After a long phone-call to my good friend and a glass of vodka and tonic, I have decided to walk away from the experience with an age old saying in the forefront of my mind – ‘you win some, you lose some’. I lost this one. But I’m too old to dwell on it, so move on I shall.

I’ve decided to get straight back in to the dating pool, and not waste any more time. I have re-written my profile text and refreshed a couple of my pictures so that people could read and see something new about me.

I noticed that in my time off the site and dating T, that DatingAgency.com have launched a new feature called Encounters. Now this looked like my kind of fun! As I was sifting through all the men, clicking a few maybe’s, a few no’s and a lot of yeses (I figured, what did I have to lose) a little message box popped up from someone that wanted to chat to me whilst online.

I hesitated for a moment because I wanted to check whether I looked okay and if I had anything in my teeth. Then I realised that they can’t actually see me, and besides, I have no webcam on my ancient computer!

Feeling bold, I clicked ‘accept’ and there he was. Two seconds passed, and he started firing questions at me left right and centre. I could barely reply before the next question was asked. I wasn’t nearly as fast at typing as he seemed to want me to be! Flustered, I asked him to slow down. He typed back “I’m in a hurry.”

What was I supposed to get from that? He requested to message me, I accepted and he’s in a hurry?! I wasn’t aware that this had turned into online speed dating! With a swift click of the mouse, I got rid of the message box. Back to voting on some potential suitors – in my own time!

I probably clicked ‘yes’ on about twenty men out of fifty. Even if one of those people liked me back, then I’d be on to something. I decided to pop out for a coffee and check my messages when I got back. I was eagerly awaiting Prince Charming in a shining suit of armour to message me and sweep me away for a romantic whirlwind romance, but in reality, I would settle for a kind and caring 5’10” plus man. That’s not really too much to ask is it?

Suitably caffeinated, a couple of hours later I returned to my study, and there they were, winks and messages and my inbox was telling me ‘so and so has looked at your profile’ and ‘so and so want’s to chat’.

Well! I could get used to this attention!

Sifting through my five or six emails in my DatingAgency.com inbox, I did a double-take when I saw that T had messaged me! I felt a little flutter in my stomach as I clicked on the message to read it.

Wait … you don’t think I am going to tell you what it said do you? You’ll have to wait until next time before I divulge!

The tools you need to make whatever you’re looking for in online dating happen for you

Here at DatingAgency.com we are committed to giving you the tools you need to make whatever you’re looking for happen for you. We have therefore created a number of clever features to help you find suitable partners as quickly and easily as possible.

Love new people – Recommended Members

To ensure we let you know about the people you are most likely to click with, we look carefully at the people you have already winked at and those you have added as a favourite, and we then suggest other, similar people who you may be interested in.

We will also highlight “2 way matches”. These are the people who not only have been recommended to you, but who you have also been recommended to.

Love saying hello – Ice Breaker messages

An Ice Breaker message is a FREE message which you can send to lots of people all at once, introducing yourself directly to them and starting a conversation. To choose who your message will be sent to, simply select the age of the people that you want to contact and how far away from you they should live. Then write your message to them and the DatingAgency.com system will do the rest.

We make no charge for sending an Ice Breaker message, however, we do ask that in order to get the best possible response from the people you’re contacting, you will need to have a fully completed profile and an approved photo.

Love choice – Communication filters

The DatingAgency.com system allows you to choose whose messages, wink and gifts you are interested in and hide any others from view in your inbox. To tell us who you are interested in please go to the Filtering page (under “Account” > “Filtering” in the menu) and make your selection.

By setting these preferences we will not stop other people from contacting you, the system will simply hide them from view in your Inbox, meaning you can change your preferences at any time or even turn them off completely to see all the people who have contacted you.

Love lists – Summary E-mails

To manage your DatingAgency.com messages and winks, you can choose to have all your incoming contacts summarised in a daily or weekly e-mail. This includes all messages, winks and gifts, as well as a list of any people who have viewed your profile during that time.

By receiving Summary E-mails you are able to turn off your immediate notifications without the risk of missing any messages. You can also receive all e-mails in order to still get an immediate notification when someone contacts you and also have a nice, neat summary at the end of each day or week.

Love speed – Instant Messaging

The DatingAgency.com Who’s Online list allows you to see any person who is using the site at the same time that you are. You can then either send them a normal message through the site or, if you want to get an immediate reply, you can send an Instant Message.

This gets the conversation flowing much quicker and allows you to move things forward at your own pace to decide if you’re likely to click with the person you’re chatting to.

Love presents – Virtual Gifts

To show someone on DatingAgency.com that he’s that extra bit special, you can send a virtual gift along with your message to him. There are lots of different gifts available ranging from cocktails and chocolates to more extravagant things such as champagne or even a yacht!

To send Gifts you will need to buy them with DatingAgency.com credits which can be added through the My Account section of the site and then topped up when you need more.

Good luck with your online dating!

Why are they not replying to my messages?

Dear Dr. Date

Why are the females, well let’s say 99.8% of the females on DatingAgency.com, not replying to a personal email. I find this very rude.

I have even started asking for a reply even if it’s just “no thanks”. After all, we are all here looking for a relationship, so it should not be a problem.

If the ladies on here don’t start replying I shall finish with this site.

Bob (Name changed)
DatingAgency.com Member

Hi Bob,

Thank you for sending in your query to me, and sorry to hear you are having trouble with getting noticed on DatingAgency.com. Hopefully I can offer some advice for you to put in to practice in the future.

It’s like shopping …

Someone I know spends hours in the supermarket, scrutinizing every item, looking at the ingredients, looking at the fat content, looking at the price. I am not comparing you to a can of reduced sugar baked beans, but this kind of scrutiny is what the women are doing to all men on the site.

Mature Lady Enjoying Dating OnlineA lady receives a message from a man, a stranger by all other means, and all they have to go on is what you have in your profile, what you say in your message, and your picture. Women tend to be shy, women don’t like to put themselves out there for any old guy, women like to be sure. In your dating profile, all the vital information needs to be there so that they are satisfied you are not an axe murderer and hopefully feel safe messaging you back. Change your picture and your personal profile from time to time. Keep it fresh, short, error free, positive and honest.

A way to get your message to stand out in a lady’s inbox is to add a gift to a message or add them as a favourite, this way, the system will send a different alert to the person and get their attention.

Think of it like applying for a job

It would be great to receive a personal reply, even if a no, but the reality of the fact is, that most people, if they are not interested, won’t reply and say no thanks. It’s easier for someone to ignore a message and hope the person gets the hint than to say ‘no, you’re not my type’. You could think of this process like applying for jobs, you send your CV to 20 potential employers, and you normally only hear back from a couple. You might receive one call for an interview, and the other one was a ‘thanks but no thanks’. Like jobs, the right kind of person is out there, and takes time, effort and research to find them!

Ask and you will get

Imagine you are in a pub or the supermarket, you walk up to a nice looking lady and you say “Hi, I like your dress”. She says ‘Erm, thanks’ and gives you a slight embarrassed smile. Unless you are George Clooney, she most likely wants you to go away.

If you go up to her and say “Hi, I see you have a fitness magazine there, you don’t happen to know where the nearest fitness club is?” She will most likely reply “Yes I do …” and the conversation (if only for a moment) can start on something you both have in common, and it won’t embarrass her in front of any of her friends or family. You can end the conversation by saying “Nice chatting to you, maybe see you in here again”. Saying something casual like this, lets her know you go there often, and if she is interested in chatting some more, that maybe she’ll catch you in there again.

If you apply this to the way you message people on DatingAgency, you will be sure to get more replies. Ask someone where they were in their profile picture because it looks familiar to you, or ask them what breed of dog they have if they talk about walking their dog. Ask simple but related questions, and you will receive simple replies to build a conversation on.

One last thing…

I suggest being considerate to a woman’s feelings on ‘talk of sex’ so early on. A man should not lead with something like this as a selling point or a suggestion of further actions until some emails have gone back and forth, and you are MUCH more comfortable with each other.

I hope some of this helps you out, and if you have any further questions about DatingAgency.com, please call our friendly customer services team on 0800 987 5555 free from a landline, or email us here.

If you have a question to ask Dr Date, email him here.

Summary E-mails – We can save you time

Summary EmailsWe know just how important your time is to you, so we’ll keep this short.

We wanted to let you know about a great new feature we’ve added to DatingAgency.com to help you manage any contact you receive, in a way which suits you.

With our NEW Summary E-mail facility whether you want to hear straight away if someone sends you a message, views your profile or sends you a gift; or are happy to receive a daily or weekly summary, the choice is yours. Continue reading

Ice Breakers – Introduce Yourself to Hundreds of Members for Free

Ice BreakersFrom your feedback we understand that searching through thousands of profiles on DatingAgency.com can sometimes be a little daunting, as well as very time consuming! To make it even easier for you to meet people we have introduced a new, free email called an Ice Breaker.

Essentially it’s one introductory email that you can send to lots of Members near you in one go. Sending one is very easy. All you have to do is select the age of the people you would like your email to go to and the area they come from, then write your first hello message and click send – it’s that simple! Continue reading

3 Simple Steps to Better Messaging

Communication FilteringListening to your feedback it was clear you wanted a simple way of managing the volume of messages and “winks” you receive from those over eager Members. Whilst it might be flattering, we wanted to make your time online a better experience. Improved message management is only a few simple clicks away with our NEW filtering options.

No more unwanted or irrelevant messages from people who live miles away. Set your Filtering Options today and start enjoying the benefits. It’s as easy as 1, 2, 3… Continue reading