Just looking or Interested

In my short experience of this website, I've noticed that lots of men look at the profile on a regular basis but have not made any contact. In a few cases if I have liked the profile, I've said hello and commented on something from their profile in an attempt to start a conversation. It's very rare to get a response back.

So it's got me thinking about what's actually happening.

Why do men continue to look at a profile without doing anything about it ?

Do some men feel uncomfortable if a woman approaces them ?

Is it best that a man contacts the woman first for anything to develop ?

Am to believe that in this day and age some things remain old fashioned. Please enlighten me :-)

x

Perhaps they're just trying put up their points on the membership scoreboard! Apparently the more profiles you look at the more points you score! Sad really isn't it?

We've had similar threads before about why people don't reply, It's rude not to if someone sends a message then a simple response (eg: I am in a relationship, you live too far from me, I was looking for someone with/without children, etc) is all that is necessary if you don't want start anything with someone.

Don't see why the man should contact the woman first though, (here I go on my sexual equality thingy again), if you are interested then no harm in showing it. If they don't reply then they are not worth the effort. I'm sure there are plenty of men on here who would appreciate a message from you

Pepper

I don't believe it Poppy, maybe you haven't checked your inbox recently ;) Until recently my membership had lapsed, which often has something to do with it.

It's not just men that look at a profile without doing anything about it. Women do the same too. A common complaint of men is that we can send endless pm's to women and get no response - this happened to me in the early days. Women are generally spared that one, because they don't generally pm loads of men, who I'm sure if they were discriminating, would behave in the same way. In fact one woman did pm me in the early days, said nothing offensive, but I didn't feel that we'd be suited. I did at least bother to politely reply though, and am usually prepared to offer my friendship. I know that many women are similar on this point.

Ignorance isn't always such either - there are a lot of dead profiles. At least you know who's active if they put some effort into the threads - also you've got more information to go on.

Men might feel comfortable if women approached them, they might not, depending on the woman, and her motives. I reckon women might just feel the same. What if I were to woo you like a lady, then give you permission to rip off my clothes in a frenzy of passion? Would that be okay? ;)

Poppy, they look, admire and think they can't possibly be good enough for you!

Keith x (no rush for that tenner...)

LOL Keith ..... dont forget my fiver

Oh I often perv...I mean look :p...at the same ladies! But thats just me not being able to remember who I have and havent looked at lol

Mike (man in memory like a goldfish hat)

Lol Kieth, I get the same as poppy might get looked at 4 or 5 times from the lady,& it's more than one, but still no hi or hello from them. Does this mean also that they admire and think they cant be good enough for me, broom brooom as he races off on his bike

Yes, it happens to me too niterider, think I must frighten them off... broom broom ... as she jumps onto her broomstick lol :)

Well Pepper I have experienced the same on this site too and contacted men in order to start up a conversation...I have come to the conclusion that the men are actually shy..or just like looking and not really bothered!! As for should women make the first contact, or let the man ?....Well if the guy is just going keep wasting time to look and never bother to contact...then why is he looking in the first place.... more importantly why is he on this site...what is the point of just looking and never contacting? I think it is ill mannered and shows bad breeding.. not to reply to a person if they have contacted you first...if only to say thank you! This is only my opinion..and thoughts on the matter!

I always check my inbox daily!!

I too, Ophelia check my box, but the only mail I got was from the Essex meet can say the same about the ladies why do they look & look & look & don't do anything about it, are we then supposed to contact the women to say hi you looked at my profile 5 times, can I help !! if & when peeps contact me I to would reply back, as you say it bad manners not too, but is it not also bad manners to keep going into some one's profile ( not necessarily my own ) & say nothing. Probably get a bashing for this, but hey what the heck, it's a thread lol

Well it happens to me on MSE more than here, but a woman sends a message, I'm not interested but send a brief and polite reply, she replies to that, and so on....how long do you keep it up?

I mention MSE because it is more a friend's site than this, and I draw a distinction between women I'm interested in chatting to as friends, and woman I'm not interested in at all...how you make that distinction, and how your correspondent does, is probably worth a thread of its own.

Keith

Cheers Keith, will bear that in mind M8

Keith I have the same problem as you (who'd have thought it! LOL)

If someone sends me a message and I'm not interested I try and always reply to be polite and yes then get caught up in more messages being sent, so then have to be rude and then not reply.

As for roses chocs and winks well when I was a paying member would most times thank the person, and then again encouraged someone when I was just being polite.

Now i'm not paying so can't thank them anyway! They must think me so rude :-)

I look at profiles if interested or curious thought thats what they were there for! Shar x

Shar hi, I understand what you are saying in as much, that you sometimes have to be a bit curt to stop a person from continuing a conversation.
However I again agree on profiles you take a look for many reasons, but not 4 or 5 times surely, & it's not as if it is a minute or two between or perhaps weeks apart, they aren't, they are not even days between each of them.

Hi niterider......If I look 4 or 5 times then you take it from me I'm interested lol :-)

Have to agree with man in a hat....I have a memory like a sieve...so just keep looking....sorry if it upsets anyone.

Hazel...you've never upset me, and now I'm offended.

Sorry Keith, what have I done?
xxx

You've never absent-mindedly viewed my profile....