 | Okay mousebat, I also have an enquiring mind, and I am also a teacher by profession, but I require a standard of exactitude in work that most would find daunting, and most of us are just missing each other's criteria that's all. I did say at the outset that love is not best found in the head. I'm not easily swayed by -isms and efforts by both managers and youth to make language incomprehensible either. As an amusing diversion, fine, but when it comes down to it, it takes both skill and responsibility to sort out the pressing problems of the world.
The psychology of most of it is avoidance of responsibility for ones actions, whereas elementary psychology reveals that it is invariably the situation rather than the person which causes things to go wrong. Rarely is one person entirely to blame, and even if that is the case, one has to be able to forgive to move on, and it seems that a lot of us have problems there.
I'm more interested in a mutual meeting of minds than point-scoring, synthesis over analysis, integration over differentation, fission over fusion. Joining generally works better than splitting.
You are able to quote me accurately which is a considerable improvement on most, rather than simply imposing your own agenda on what I might say. It seems to me if I may be so bold, to observe that you harbour some negativity about love, and it's obvious that many habitual posters on here harbour a lot of negativity about men. Sexist rubbish I don't need, both men and woman at times behave in an appalling manner - generalities do no-one any favours. This medium does lend itself to nitpicking - and as a teacher you'll know that studying the written word is not the most effective way of learning - there is much sense in what Piaget had to say - but it's abstracted from the person doing the communicating. If you harbour negative thoughts about love, you won't sort it out by analysing it to death, which we can all do - it takes a leap of faith and yes, openmindedness, given that the vast majority of communication is non-verbal. Unsurprisingly, those that are capable of actually dating, sometimes eventually succeed in finding someone, because on whatever their crteria, they have enough trust to actually meet and make a balanced decision.
So Webby and a few others are trying to do what I tried to do. I just got put off by the general carping and negativity, that's all - having got through this morass, all the people that I actually got to communicate with are now in relationships, and I'm happy for them. I fully expect to be in partnership myself before the end of this year, but I think that I angered a group of mothers who habitually chat with no intention of dating, because I am not particularly looking for a ready-made family, that's all. Especially as I've got some serious legal problems to sort out over the behaviour of errant children and managers. By interacting with this site I discovered that a few things had changed in five years or so, when it was relatively straighforward to date single people. For me I think two factors have changed. The sample of contributors isn't typical of the population any more - particular groups of people seem over-represented, mothers, the unemployed, the plain desperate. All of these groups are going to find it harder to meet people. Secondly people in general are far more intolerant and selfish, which doesn't make for lasting relationships. Since this medium doesn't work as well as simply talking to people and simply letting your natural charm and exuberance do the talking, I don't think (statistically) that I'm likely to meet my match this way that's all. However I may be corrected by someone that has noticed something that I haven't, although it won't happen from behind a computer.
I don't think I can be any more honest or clearer than that, so rip me apart if you want, but that won't that won't achieve the objective for anyone. To borrow an oft-use phrase - Cappucino? :)
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07-May-2008 18:49 ·
07-May-2008 18:56 ·
