After an agency introduction: the first date and the feedback call

Agencies handle introductions in one of two ways. Either way, both people agree before anything happens, and from that point the agency steps back.

What counts as an introduction

An introduction is whatever your contract says it is, and that matters for the number you've paid for. Some agencies count a meeting; others count a match as soon as it's proposed. One agency group's terms, checked on 17 October 2026, say a hybrid membership is "deemed fulfilled once contracted introductions are proposed whether or not meetings take place". Read your contract's definition before the first one arrives, so you know whether declining a profile uses one up.

Before the date

Read the profile, then put it down. It is a summary written by the agency, not a promise. Go in curious rather than with a checklist.

Have a short call first if you can. Ten minutes on the phone or video settles nerves on both sides and confirms the person is who the agency says.

An example first message, if the agency has passed on contact details (adapt it to sound like you):

Hi, it's [your first name], the agency put us in touch. I enjoyed reading about your walking weekends. Would you like a quick call this week before we pick somewhere to meet?

Plan the practical bits:

• Meet somewhere public, busy and easy to leave: a café, a hotel bar, a lunch spot.
• Get yourself there and home. Don't accept a lift on a first date.
• Tell a friend where you'll be and when you expect to be home.
• Keep it short. Coffee or a drink is easier than a three-course dinner.
• Don't share your home address or workplace details yet.

Our safety guide covers this in more detail. An agency introduction removes some risks, but not all of them. Agencies generally accept what members tell them in good faith, so the usual habits still apply.

On the date

There's no script. A few things help:

• Ask about the things they care about, not their CV.
• Don't interview them against your brief. You already told the agency your deal-breakers; let the date be a conversation.
• Talk about the agency if you like. Swapping notes on the process is an easy icebreaker.
• Pay attention to how you feel, not just what you think of them on paper.

If something feels off, leave. You can tell the agency why afterwards.

The feedback call

The feedback call is your chance to improve the next introduction, so be useful rather than polite. Agencies often ask for feedback after each introduction, by phone or email; one we checked on 17 October 2026 lists "post-date feedback and guidance by email" in its package.

Helpful feedback is specific:

• "Easy to talk to, but lives too far away for me to see often."
• "Lovely, but I didn't feel any spark. I'd like someone more outgoing."
• "Their profile said non-smoker, but they smoke."

Less helpful: "Nice enough" or "not for me" with nothing else.

If an introduction plainly missed one of your stated deal-breakers, say so clearly. It may be a one-off, or it may be a sign the agency is short of suitable members. You'll often hear the other person's feedback too. Take it as information, not a verdict.

Keep a simple log

A record of each introduction helps you spot patterns and, if things go wrong later, is far more persuasive than memory. Something like this is enough:

If you ever need to ask for a refund or a price reduction, our guide to contracts and refunds explains how the log helps.

If it went well

Agree a second date directly, and let the agency know. Then check your contract: some published packages include a "hold" that pauses your membership if a relationship starts, so you don't use up your term while you see where it goes. On 17 October 2026, packages we checked offered holds of four or six months, depending on the tier. Another agency let members freeze for up to two months at a time, up to three times, but its instalments continued during a freeze, so ask how payments work before you pause.

If it didn't

Say so, kindly and promptly, through the agency if that's how it works. An example message, if you're asked to reply directly:

Thank you for meeting me on Saturday, I enjoyed the conversation. I don't think we're the right match, but I wish you well with the rest of your introductions.

Then think about whether the introduction told you anything. Did the agency hear what you said? Was it you who wasn't ready? Several near misses on the same point mean your brief needs updating.

If introductions keep missing, or dry up, ask the agency directly how many suitable members it has left for you. The warning signs explain when a pattern becomes a problem.

If an introduction asks for money

Stop. Whatever the reason given (an emergency, a stuck payment, an investment), don't send money, gift cards or cryptocurrency, and don't share bank details. Tell the agency straight away and keep the messages.

If you've already paid, call your bank first.

Thinking about what's next

After a few introductions you'll have a better sense of whether the agency is working for you. If it is, keep going. If not, how agencies vet members and is a matchmaker worth it? can help you decide whether to switch, renew or try something different, such as a dating site where you do the searching.