Choosing dating profile photos that work

People decide whether to read a profile in the time it takes to look at a photo. That isn't shallow; it is how browsing works. The good news is that the photos that do best are rarely the most glamorous. They are the ones that look like a real person someone would enjoy spending an afternoon with.

Your main photo does most of the work

Your main photo is the one that appears in search results and next to your messages. It has one job: to show your face clearly enough that someone feels they've seen you.

What tends to work:

• Just you. No group, no cropped-out ex's arm on your shoulder.
• Your face, clearly. Head and shoulders, or from the waist up, facing the camera or close to it.
• A natural smile. Not a posed grin; the face you make when someone you like walks in.
• Good, soft light. Daylight from a window or outside on an overcast day is kinder than a flash or strong midday sun.
• No sunglasses or hats that hide your eyes or hair.
• In focus and not heavily filtered. Beauty filters and heavy editing make people wonder what else isn't quite true.

You don't need a professional photographer. A friend with a phone, a bit of daylight and twenty minutes will usually produce something better than an old selfie. Ask them to talk to you while they take pictures, so you look at ease rather than braced.

Choose photos that still look like you at a small size. Photos are often seen small, in lists and search results, and on our site viewing photos in full is one of the things a paid membership adds, so your main picture needs to work small.

How many photos, and how recent

Around four to six photos is a good number. One photo can look like you're hiding something. More than eight or so starts to feel like scrolling through a stranger's holiday album.

Keep them recent, ideally from the last year, and make sure they show how you look now. If you've changed your hair, grown a beard, started wearing glasses or changed shape, your photos should show it. Nothing sours a first meeting faster than the other person doing a double take. People are far more forgiving of a few grey hairs than of feeling misled.

If you're returning to dating after a long gap, it's tempting to use a lovely photo from a few years ago. Resist. Take some new ones instead; it is one of the most useful things you can do for your profile.

Variety that tells people something

After the main photo, use the others to show your life. Each one should add something a reader didn't know.

A good set might include:

• one clear head-and-shoulders photo (your main);
• one full-length photo, so people have an honest sense of you;
• one or two doing something you genuinely enjoy: walking, cooking, cycling, on an allotment, at a gig;
• one somewhere you love, where you're the clear subject rather than a speck in a landscape;
• one with a friend, if you like, as long as it's obvious which person is you.

The activity photos double as conversation starters, much like the specific details in a good written profile. A photo of you at a pottery wheel gives someone an easy first question. Our guide to writing a dating profile works on the same principle.

Photos to leave out

Some pictures work against you, or simply waste a slot:

• Group photos as your main picture. Nobody should have to guess which one is you.
• Photos with an ex, even cropped. People can usually tell.
• Bathroom mirror selfies and photos taken from very low or very high angles.
• Lots of photos with a drink in hand. One at a wedding is fine; five in a row says something you probably don't mean.
• Shirtless or swimwear shots unless they're genuinely part of something, such as a sea swim. On a site for people wanting a serious relationship, they often put off the readers you most want.
• Photos of other people without their permission. Your friend may not want to appear on a dating site.
• Pictures of cars, views or pets on their own. Lovely, but they're not you. Put the dog in a photo with you instead.
• Anything that breaks the site's image rules. On our site, that includes nudity and lingerie.

What a photo can give away

A photo can reveal more than you intend. Your profile is seen by strangers, and on our site by members of partner sites in the same network too. A few minutes of checking before you upload is worth it.

Backgrounds

Look at the whole picture, not just your face. Check for:

• your house number, front door, street sign or car number plate;
• a view from your window or garden that a local would recognise;
• your workplace, uniform, lanyard or name badge;
• post, documents, a calendar or a computer screen in the background;
• a school logo, a club badge or anything else tied to a place you go regularly.

If in doubt, crop it or choose another photo.

Children and other people

It is better not to include photos of your children, or anyone else's. Your profile is seen by strangers, and children can't agree to that. Mention in your profile that you have children instead. If a photo you love includes them, crop them out entirely; blurring or covering a face with a sticker still shows a child, their clothes and often where they were.

The same goes for friends and family. Ask before using a photo with someone else in it, or crop them out.

Hidden location data

Photos taken on a phone can store the location where they were taken. If you upload a photo taken in your garden with that data attached, you may be sharing more than you realise. You can stop your camera recording location, or remove it before you share.

These steps come from Apple Support and Google Photos Help. Google notes that items shared from Google Photos don't include location details unless you choose to include them, but a photo file you download and send or upload elsewhere still carries the location your device saved. Google also points out that landmarks in a picture can still give a place away, which is why the background check matters too.

Reverse image search works both ways

Safety advice from the US Federal Trade Commission and the UK Government's advice on romance fraud suggests running a reverse image search on a match's photos, to see whether they appear elsewhere under another name. It's a good habit, and the romance scams guide explains how it helps.

Remember the same tool works on your photos. If your dating pictures also appear on your public social media or a professional networking profile, a stranger may be able to find your full name, employer and more in seconds. The simplest protection is to use photos for dating that you haven't posted publicly anywhere else.

How photos work on DatingAgency.com

On our own online service:

• Photos are reviewed before they appear. The review looks at what the photo shows. It doesn't confirm who a member is.
• At least one photo is usually required to complete your profile.
• Nudity and lingerie aren't allowed.
• Viewing photos in full is part of a paid membership, alongside reading and replying to messages. How it works and our prices page explain the details.
• Your profile, photos included, is shared with partner sites in the same network, so members of those sites can see it.
• An optional, paid ID badge is available, using an ID document and a selfie. For most members it is entirely optional.

Because photo review is not an identity check, use ordinary care with every profile you see. Our safety page covers what to look out for.

A quick check before you upload

1. Is your main photo just you, with your face clear and in good light?
2. Were all your photos taken recently, and do they look like you now?
3. Does each extra photo show something new about you?
4. Have you checked every background for addresses, workplaces and landmarks?
5. Are children and other people either absent or cropped out?
6. Is location data switched off or removed?
7. Are these photos ones you haven't posted publicly elsewhere?